Coworkers of Jennifer Moore were shocked to discover that Jennifer, an administrative assistant with the condition known as “resting friendly face,” is actually a huge bitch.
Stephanie from accounting first made the realization as she asked Jennifer if she would like a cup of coffee. Jennifer responded, “No thanks, but it looks like YOU can sure use one,” all while still smiling.
“For a moment, I thought she was still being nice,” said Stephanie, “But then I realized she was being a sneaky bitch.”
“I needed help making copies for our 11am meeting, and I thought Jen looked like the helpful type,” says Melanie from sales. “I was four words into my question when she told me ‘It’s not that complicated, you can’t just figure it out?’ It’s like she didn’t even care that I’d find out she was a bitch.”
After an attempted lunchtime conversation about the current season of “The Mindy Project,” Ted from HR was only met with eye rolling and heavy sighing. “It’s like her welcoming gaze was a trap, drawing me in only to shove me down into the dirt.”
“It was around 3:00 pm when I tried asking her for some paper clips,” reported Stacy, a senior level administrative assistant. “Her smile dropped, she rolled her eyes, and told me the color of my blouse totally clashed with my nail polish. Why would she do that? Why does someone who seems so nice need to act like such a bitch?”
Around 5pm, Jennifer made eye contact with Rachel from data entry, with what seemed to be a welcoming smile. Rachel attempted to respond when Jennifer answered her ringing phone, speaking loudly enough for Rachel to hear, “Ugh, thank God you called. That sad, bloated chick is trying to talk to me again.”
It has yet to be revealed whether Jennifer’s “resting friendly face” has led to complications in her personal life, but her coworkers agree it may take longer for some to realize that she is a total fucking bitch.