RECENT POSTS

Living

Six 12-Year Olds Who Are Convinced They Have Toxic Shock Syndrome Right Now

Living

Here’s What Happens to Your Body After Just One Week of Not Being Such a Little Bitch All The Time

You may even find yourself in a better mood, which will contribute to you not being such a little pissbaby.

Entertainment

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

The Olsen Twins: RANKED

There you have it.

Thoughts

Why I Changed My New Year’s Resolution from ‘Be Less Negative’ to ‘Get a Gun’

Like Oprah probably said, there’s always room for personal growth.

News

First-Born COVID Strain Jealous of Widespread Fear New Variants Are Getting

“No matter what, we should always be scared shitless of what comes next.”

Living

QUIZ: Are They Actually Toxic Or Do They Just Casually Use the Cry-Laughing Emoji?

This woman is a danger to society and likely a danger to herself.

Thoughts

I Don’t Give Hand Jobs, I Give Hand Opportunities

The biggest difference between a hand job and a hand opportunity is your attitude.

Living

Can My Pet Weasel Get Coronavirus? Meet the Woman Making Sure She Can and Does

My arch-nemesis is making sure my pet weasel not only can get covid but absolutely does.

Living

QUIZ: Is It Persecution for Being a White Christian or Consequences for Domestic Terrorism?

You feel uneasy like everyone’s against you and the walls are closing in, but is it persecution?

Thoughts

How I Broke the Glass Ceiling by Riding the Willy Wonka Elevator Through It

It’s simply a matter of leaning in and living in a world of pure imagination.

Love and Sex

4 Sex Acts That Are Sins to Complete but Impressive to Play in Scrabble

In this way life and Scrabble are different.

Thoughts

Help! I Asked My Friends to Suggest Hobbies I Should Try and They’re All Giving Me Valid Realistic Answers

What the hell am I supposed to do now??

News

Parenting Mistakes That Ruined Your Life Working Out Great for Your Mom’s Dog

While she does spoil Angel sometimes, it’s only because she doesn’t have any grandchildren.

Thoughts

My Love Language Is Holding Up the Swiffer to Show You How Much Dirt and Hair Came Off the Floor

Now that’s my bid for connection.

Thoughts

My New Year’s Resolution Is To Seem Like I Read More

All I have to do tweet “52 books in 52 weeks!” and dutifully bone up my Goodreads account.

Love and Sex

5 Horse Whisperers Who Refuse to Set Us Up With Their Sexy Bad Boy Horse Clients

What we have with sexy Horse Jess Mariano is real.

Love and Sex

How to Date Men When All They Think About is Stealing the Declaration of Independence

Steal the Declaration of Independence with him.

News

Woman Wears Retainer for First Time in Ten Years After Scrolling Through High School Photos

While experts confirm Fischer deserves to suffer, it’s unclear how productive her efforts will be.

Thoughts

The Moment I Laid Eyes On Your Father, I Was Kind of Sure He Was Probably the One

I think. I’m pretty sure. We’ll see what’s up in a few years.

Living

QUIZ: Do You Share the Same Sense of Humor Or Are You Both High?

We laugh at everything. Queen’s Gambit was hilarious.

Thoughts

Why I Will be the First Congressperson to Carry My Packer Inside the Capitol Building

Using a packer in Congress is not bad, but I will talk about it so much that all my fellow congresspeople feel tired when they look at me.

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