The Ladies’ Cheat Sheet For The Breaking Bad Season Finale

Breaking Bad - Walter White

Sunday marks the end of the most talked about television series in years: Breaking Bad. If you haven’t kept up with past five seasons of this groundbreaking show, we’ve whipped up a season-by-season guide written just for women, so you can be totally prepared to watch the finale this Sunday. Here’s a recap from the beginning:

Season One: Pregnant Wife Not Doing Enough for Her Family

A man named Walter gets sick and cannot provide for his family. His wife is pregnant, but does not attend any Lamaze or prenatal yoga classes. Most of her time is spent being agitated – which isn’t good for her baby or her husband. Their house isn’t very nice. Her teenage son enjoys breakfast. She doesn’t spend much time with him. Her sister has a much nicer house.

Season Two: We Don’t See the Baby Very Much

Walter gets better, but then gets sick again. Instead of applying to pre-schools for her yet-to-be-born child, Walter’s wife decides to go back to work. She doesn’t have time to cook for her family. She gives birth to the baby but we do not see the baby very much. She also spends even less time with her son. We learn more about her sister’s nicer house and her husband who has a much better job.

Season Three: Divorce; We Still Don’t See the Baby

Walter is no longer sick. His wife doesn’t pay attention to him or the baby – who isn’t featured nearly enough. Instead demands a divorce from Walt (even though he just had surgery), starts smoking, and cheats on Walt with her handsome boss. She doesn’t spend time with her son because she is too busy having sex with her handsome boss. Her sister’s husband racks up a ton of medical bills.

Season Four: Still No Baby

Walter still isn’t sick. The ex-wife runs the car wash instead of raising her kids. The baby is nowhere to be seen.

Season Five: She’s Still a Terrible Mother But There’s A Lot More Baby Action

Walter is sick again. The baby learns to walk and we see how adorable she is. Her son spends more time with his father. Her kids go to live with her sister so she can learn what it’s like to live at a much nicer house. She stabs Walter. The baby is kidnapped, which is when we realize that the baby is also incredibly adorable. The baby is returned. Walt is gone, but her son finally gives her the love that she never really deserved because she is a terrible mother and we all knew it right from the beginning.
We don’t really see the any reason why there has to be such a long, drawn-out series finale, as the major loose ends seem to already be tied up. Either way, we’ll see you on the couch this Sunday!