Woman Can’t Decide on Spirit Animal

woman crying

After a grueling three minutes of pained stares and headshaking, Heather O’Roark realized that she did not have a spirit animal to call her own.


Her coworker Sandra, whose spirit animal is an angora rabbit, attempted to change the subject, while Steve from IT (white-faced saki monkey) stood by in apparent shock. O’Roark tried to ignore their stunned responses as she debated between a canary and a fawn, demonstrating extreme emotional distress throughout.


“How do you just not know?” said office receptionist Charlotte Wetherby. “Everybody knows their spirit animal. Mine’s a black cat. Obviously. But sometimes I’m a leopard. See, I even have multiple options. She’s a freak.”



O’Roark has been unable to make eye contact since the incident, and started bringing her own coffee to avoid using the office break room for any reason.


Office manager Roger Stearns (Mexican neotenic mole salamander) stated that O’Roark could be seen walking up and down the office hallway with tears streaming down her face, taking endless Buzzfeed quizzes, attempting to find an animal; any animal, to accurately represent her deepest inner self.


“She’s pathetic,” Roger notes. “…Probably doesn’t even know who her favorite Disney princess is.”