White Woman Speaks: I’m Scared this 9 Dollar Chia Protein Bar is Totally Worth It

White Woman Speaks:

I’m at the airport, looking for something to gnosh on before I meet my sister for a spa weekend in Santa Fe. This Chia Protein Bar is organic – but it’s also nine dollars.
There are more reasonably priced snacks at this Relay, but none of them pack the same amount of Omega 3’s as this Chia Protein Bar! This is really going to cut into the generous tip I budgeted for my hot stone masseuse, whose daughter just went through a nasty bout of bacterial meningitis – though surely she’d rather I spend her money on a macrobiotic snack than show up to her studio with Lunchable breath.
Oh god, this Chia Protein Bar is GLUTEN FREE. I’ve been meaning to go GF but next week is David’s birthday and he made reservations at our favorite high-end ramen place! Can I betray him like that? Could I just slurp on the broth and make it look sexy? No. No. I should hold off on the Chia Bar until my relationship and gluten-free status are in a more secure place.

But the packaging is so beautiful. The logo looks like hand-drawn mandalas. What if it’s delicious? What if it really tastes like acai? I don’t know what a real acai berry tastes like but I imagine it’s like a pomegranate that got more love from its parents. What if it’s so good I need to buy one every day on my way to Barre Class? Surely that will cut into the seed money for my stay-at-home girlfriend blog!
I just don’t want this to become another Makuna Honey Flavored Kale Chips scenario where I get in a fight at the Food Co-Op trying to wrestle the last package away from the Laughter Yoga Instructor. She’s really strong.
Oh god. It’s final boarding. I’m going to buy it. Sometimes, you just have to be brave.