Vision Board Your Way To His Dick

Proponents of The Secret hold that if you send your intentions toward anything hard enough, you can attract it right into your lap. Here’s everything you’ll need in order to create a foolproof vision board to get that dick:


Before you Begin:

Put on some soft music, sit quietly, and set the intent for creating your board (the dick). Ask yourself what it is you truly want. Maybe images of massive dong will come into your head. Just take a moment to be with that. Maybe images of a little tiny dinky will arise. This process makes it a deeper experience. It gives a chance for your ego to step aside, so you can explicitly come to your exact penis vision in an organic way.


To get started with your penis vision board, you will need these supplies…

1 large poster board (Walgreens sells a high-quality matte finish board.)

A stack of 10-400 dick pics (assorted)

1 incognito browser window

Rubber cement



How to make a vision board in 5 steps:

Step 1: Print out all the dick pics you’ve received from the last five years. Screenshot your favorite pornographic material and print that out, too. Once your material is printed, cut out the penis images that speak to you. Just have fun with it – no planning yet!


Step 2: Now that you’ve made your first round of cuts, go through your selections and begin to lay out your favorites on the board. This is the step where you have to trust your intuition and let your creativity take hold. Your natural sense for Chad’s sweet, WASPy dick will rise to the surface like an engorged appendage. You might feel like arranging the penises in the same direction; you might feel like creating a multi-racial, Frankenstein combination, you might want to add flowers – just do whatever feels natural. We’ve seen women come up with truly incredible ways to arrange penises on their vision boards.


Step 3: Glue everything to the board. Feelings might come up as you do this; just try to be mindful and accepting of yourself as you get to know Chad’s dick in a deeper way. You might find yourself gluing with a sort of vengeance or, conversely, you might find that you are a very gentle gluer. Know that there is no wrong way to glue a dick to a board.


Step 4: Leave a space in the center of your board for a fabulous picture of yourself where you look thrilled and full of dick. Then, glue your profile picture to the center of your board. Some say this step is optional, but we recommend it because it’s very powerful. It’s important to visualize yourself having already achieved Chad’s dick.


Step 5: Hang your vision board on your refrigerator so the universe can really get that you are hungry as hell. You don’t stand a chance, Chad!


While it may feel a little silly at first, making a vision is a powerful way to capture the dick of your dreams. Trust your instincts, and get that D!