Study Confirms Link Between Bubble Handwriting and Stupidity

Gratitude Journal - Reductress

A recent study has provided a compelling link between bubble handwriting and overt stupidity among women.

 

As compared to their peers, women who used bubble handwriting were proven to spend unnecessary amounts of time writing down basic information in the most stylized, yet childish way were 70% more likely to be complete fucking idiots.

 

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” stated head researcher Dr. Corey Adams. “My assistant is always writing notes in bubbly writing and her only interests are People magazine and breathing out of her mouth.”

 

Other factors linked to complete ineptitude included dotting I’s with hearts, overuse of smiley faces as a means of punctuation, and the use of Gelly Roll glitter pens.

 

The study, which included over 500 women from various socioeconomic backgrounds, did turn up some unexpected links, however.

 

“We did find a link between the bubbliness of the handwriting and the number of selfies taken during our research,” states Dr. Adams. “There was one women who took over 47 selfies during the course of our one hour long study. In addition to the bubbly handwriting, the last sentence was just a series of glittery stickers of emoticons. This was a closed study; I don’t even know where she found those stickers.”

 

 

When confronted with the findings one participant stated: “Just because I have a certain type of handwriting, that doesn’t define how intelligent I am as a person. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to use the money I got for this dumb study on some more in-app purchases for my Kardashian Hollywood game.”