Police reported that the tires of 23-year-old suburban single bridesmaid, Sarah Tingle, had been slashed shortly after catching the bride’s bouquet at her sister’s wedding the previous evening.
“The other bridesmaids seemed to think she was overaggressive in catching the bouquet, since she has so many years ahead of her,” said one guest. “But they’d had a lot of wine and cake, so I didn’t really think anything of it at the time.”
As the garter toss commenced, the women became more and more ravenous. “It was like a pack of hungry wolves. They just stared that poor girl down through the whole thing,” proclaimed the bride’s Uncle Al. The DJ then played “The Electric Slide” in order to lighten the palpably grim mood.
Police suspect that the tires were slashed with several broken champagne flutes – requiring unusual strength to do such significant damage to Tingle’s 2007 Geo Tracker.
“It was gruesome,” said an officer who arrived on the scene. “It had to have been more than one person, and they must’ve spent a long time going at it. I can’t imagine what would bring someone to do something like this during such a happy occasion.”