It’s 2014, and it’s time to up your slang game. Why aren’t you talking already? Start now!
adj. Physically attractive and dull as fuck.
Code for drunk. (“Today has got to be fucking kidding me. I have to see Dr. Unk at lunch, so please cancel all of my afternoon meetings.”)
n. A state of being over Feta cheese. (“Ugh, I thought this salad had Chevre in it. I’m so Fetup – get it together, Dean and Deluca!”)
Abbreviation for Limp-Ass Dick (“I finally gave in and decided to sleep with Jared on Saturday. Do you wanna know what I got in return? A fucking LAD! FML.”)
New Year’s Heave
1. The inevitable vom session at the end of NYE
2. The process of getting rid of whatever or whoever you’re totally over.
(“I’m throwing out all of my clothes and breaking up with Seth. New Year’s Heave!)
n. Your secret weapon that gets you into the hottest restaurants. (“My rez-solution? I just cry hysterically and claim my boss is gonna fire me if I don’t get a table. Sometimes I throw in that I’m pregnant and my boyfriend left me and I really need the job, etc, etc. Works every time.”)
n. A cooler name for LinkedIn.
n. A person who gets way too close when talking to you. (“Don’t look now, here comes Chelsea the Space Invader.”)
n. A person with a taste for non-standard hotel rooms.
Trial by Hire
Phrase. A test of one’s abilities to perform a job they are patently unqualified to hold. (“So I guess I’m the Regional Director of NeuroMarketing and Positive Psychology in Action, whatever that means. Trial by Hire time…”)
n. Metaphoric body part that puts guys in touch with their feminine side. (“Grant is so sweet – he cried during Grey’s Anatomy last night! I think he has a vaguyna.”)