Jana Can’t Remember That Time Everyone Else Keeps Talking About

Hacked Woman - Reductress

Wisconsin woman Jana Gordon revealed yesterday that, in spite of laughing every time it is mentioned, she has absolutely no memory of the one time in high school that girlfriends constantly reminisce about. “It just feels good to get off my chest,” says Gordon. “I can finally stop running.”


Part of the reason this continued for so long is that the women could not tell the whole story without falling into a fit of giggles. “Here’s what I know,” says Jana. “It happened in 1998, and Angie hosted a sleepover following a Friday night home football game. And that’s the point where I have no idea what actually happened, or if this is all some cruel, long-running joke against me.”


Jana’s halfhearted laughter began at a diner in their junior year of college. Jamie Chin’s order of sweet potato fries jogged everyone’s memory of that fateful night five years earlier, causing everyone to descend into a laughing fit. When Jana said, ‘I must have missed that,” witnesses insisted Gordon was there, so she eventually started laughing along. “I look back on that decision every day and ask myself, ‘Why?’ So many years of fake laughs, and for what?”


When pressed for more information on the story, friend Cassie Krause claims, “We were all in the kitchen when she got there. When she came in– ” At this point, Cassie hung up the phone in mid-interview, laughing hysterically. She did not return our phone call.



Many of the women have remained friends and continue to get together a few times a year, adding to Gordon’s anxiety.


“Inevitably, someone will bring up that time at Angie’s, ” Gordon explained, “and I’ll know the rest of my night will be a private hell.”


“I didn’t want to hurt Cassie’s feelings,” she explained. “But I can’t live this lie anymore.”


As of this report, Gordon is being treated for anxiety and depression. Which is totally ironic, because of that one time in third grade that she has also completely forgotten about.