There’s nothing like cuddling up with the love of your life. But just because he’s purring doesn’t mean you’re the one he’s thinking about! When I used to pet my cat, Patches, I could tell he was distant, but it wasn’t until years later I realized he’d been pretending that my hand was a different human woman. I was so hurt. Don’t make my mistake: learn the giveaway signs that your cat is fantasizing about someone else before you lose his interest forever.
He avoids eye contact.
If he’s not staring intensely into your eyes, he may feel ashamed that he’s thinking about someone else. Most likely, it’s because he’s pretending you’re the gentle and beautiful Julianne Moore.
He kneads everything—except you.
When you pet your cat, but he goes to town on an old blanket instead of touching you, it’s because he’s thinking about another, squishier human. Remind him of what he’s missing by showing off some of your body’s doughiest areas. Sure, you may not have Ina Garten’s pillowy chest, but your belly feels enough like a waterbed that you may pique his interest.
He falls asleep while cuddling.
If your cat doesn’t stay present when you’re touching him, he’s secretly drifting off into a fantasy. Is he daydreaming about wet food? NO! He’s dreaming about being pet by one of your hot friends…specifically the one he hides from in the closet when she comes over. He’s only hiding from his own desire!
He barely answers when you call him.
You say his name four times before he responds, and even then, it’s hardly more than an ear twitch. Sorry, sister, your cat is definitely lost in thought about another human, like Vida Guerra.
Unfortunately, if your cat is displaying any of these telltale signs, he’s most likely fantasizing about someone other than you. It’s time to find another cat.