It may still be a myth, but there’s one thing we can all agree on: the female orgasm is disgusting and slutty! Here’s how to make sure you’re not looking like a total whore when your committed, loving boyfriend brings you to climax:
Scream, “This is my first time having sex!!”
Odds are that your boyfriend will know this isn’t true, since he’s been inside of you many times before in the course of your loving and emotionally fulfilling relationship. However, in the heat of the moment, he might believe your blatant lie long enough not to think you look like a total skank while you cum.
Smile as hard as you can.
Your body might be telling you to do something other than smile while you’re having an orgasm, but you should ignore that impulse and force a mannequin-like, wide-eyed smile while you cum so your boyfriend can’t tell that you’re experiencing feelings of ecstasy. What’s important in this moment is that he knows you’re happy, not that you’re feeling physical pleasure. Female pleasure should only come from emotional satisfaction! Don’t let your face betray your body! Your boyfriend is gonna love this.
Stare straight up at the ceiling blankly.
You can’t feel slutty when you can’t feel anything at all! Focus all of your energy on maintaining a blank face as you stare up at the ceiling and avoid eye contact with the man who loves you and wants to make you feel good. Sure, he might want to make eye contact with you around that time, but it’s just not worth looking like a slut who enjoys that sort of thing.
Cry about a book that your parents read to you when you were a child.
There’s nothing sexier than a girl who used to read, so muster up some tears and lose yourself in paralyzing nostalgia long enough to get through the hot, sexy orgasm your boyfriend is trying to give you. It might stop him in his tracks and even make him worry a little bit, but at least he won’t see your O-face and think you’re a giant whore!
Wear a mask.
Sure, your boyfriend might think he wants to see your face while he makes you cum, but chances are when he sees how slutty you look while you’re having sex, he’ll be singing a different tune. Save your boyfriend from himself and save yourself the trouble and cover your face up completely while your boyfriend pleasures you. Sex is great and you hate it!
Downplay the slut factor of your orgasm with these simple tips, but remember: In the end, it’s probably better if don’t have an orgasm at all!