Whether you broke up with your boyfriend five months ago or this morning, you will know when you’re ready to have sex again. The question is, how will everyone else? Here’s how to choose the right meme to solidly state you are officially, publicly DTF:
Get the Right Image
Your initial instinct will be to post a picture of a vagina and a penis getting it on and with something like, “WANTED!” This doesn’t work as well as you’d think—coming on too strong may look desperate, even when you’re in meme territory. Instead, go for something like a sunset, curvaceous mountains, or a pearl necklace. Dudes see sex in everything. EVERYTHING.
Choose Your Words Wisely
You’re not going to want to do anything too sentimental, like post one of those pictures of two people holding hands or spooning with the words, “My Relationship Goal.” You want to give guys the right impression – you’re strictly down to bone. Maintain some dignity by using something like, “Shit Happens” or “Movin’ on.” Again, guys will see this as you meaning, “Do it to me raw.”
Evoke the Image of Your Vagina with Colors and Textures
Pay homage to your little lady with an appropriate color scheme. Choose fonts in pastel skin tones and pinks. Or choose a Georgia O’Keefe reprint containing plenty of folds.
Don’t Rush! Timing is Everything!
Your sexual feelings will be strong and thunderous once you’re ready to embrace them. All those months or hours you’ve waited are going to build up and make you explode. But proceed cautiously – figuring out the right time of day when your Facebook gets the most activity is important. You want high traffic, high volume times if you’re ever going to get the D. The hours of 8am-4am are ideal as that is when most guys are awake and looking to have sex.
So post that sex meme and wait patiently for those dick pics to start rolling in. There’s going to be so many!