Five Small Cities Where a NYC Girl Can Get The Praise She Deserves

West Virginia

Let’s face it: nobody gives a shit who you are in NYC, so visit a town that makes you go “ew” and get the hell into Dodge. Treat yourself by visiting one of these U.S. cities where you will instantly be better than everyone else!

1. Slamburg, Alabama:

Your ensemble will steel the scene in this one-horse mill town. It’s okay to giggle when you say, “J. Crew” and they cough, “J. Who? Are you some kind of celebrity?” Kick back and enjoy the guilty pleasures of the South, because you’re the Sofia Loren of Slamburg!

2. Wroth Forts, Texas:

When that squinting stud struts up to you and asks, “Do you work?” You’ll exemplify a modern career woman of goals and ambitions when you mention your high-powered administrative position at Viacom. His smile won’t be the only thing growing!


3. Johnsondick, Florida:

Soak in the juxtaposition of befuddlement and envy in this steamy swamp town! Mentioning that you’ve seen Banksy’s latest NYC tour will have locals confused and fascinated by your near-fictional urban life.

4. Carton City, Nevada:

Go ahead and express any negative opinions about the cost of NYC rent, ‘cause here, you won’t be challenged! Then remind them they wouldn’t understand because there’s nothing worth sacrificing for in Carton City.

5. Dobb’s Mound, West Virginia:

No one will understand anything you say, but wear your hair down or just simply have hair, and they’ll be like moths to your surprisingly clean flame.
So, say goodbye to getting lost in the shuffle of New York City, and visit one of these two-star towns for an exponential boost to your self-image!