Five Halloween Costumes Guaranteed to Make You a Pregnant Teen

Young ladies! It’s Halloween time again, and you know what that means! I hope you’re ovulating cause you are going to get PREG-to-the-NANT, TEEN STYLEZ! Try one of these killer costume ideas to make sure that his peen goes into your vageen and do what everybody’s feenin’ to do this Halloween – create the freakin MIRACLE OF LIFE!!!!

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1. A Sandwich

Did you guys ever notice that teenage boys are pretty much always eating sandwiches?? Literally every guy I run into has a piece of salami hangin’ outta his mouth! So when they see you all dressed up as their favorite lunch, they won’t be able to resist and BAM! You’ll have a beautiful baby growing in that bangin’ womb of yours!

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2. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Find me one teenage mofo who isn’t OBSESSED with The Rock, srsly. My lil bro watches The Tooth Fairy ON LOOP, no joke! Pro Tip: Enter all parties by yelling, “Do you smell what the Rock is COOKING!?” and you’ll soon be cooking a little rock of your own!

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3. A Basketball Hoop

Allow me to present y’all with a scenario: You’re trying to talk to a sexy boy, and he can’t stop watching the game! Sound familiar? Two can play at that game: when he turns to you during the commercial break and notices you’re dressed as one of his favorite pieces of sports equipment, he will immediately throw you down and inseminate you.

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4. President Obama

Every teenage boy I know is completely CREAMIN’ over Obamacare! It’s up to you to make his political dreams come true and give him some “Affordable Care” all over his engorged PEEN! Make sure to leave the birth control at home, so you can fill your uterus wit some Sashas and Malias, ‘NAW MEAN?!

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5. His Long Lost Dad

This costume’s perfect for that teenage hunk who hasn’t seen his biological father in like, a billion years! All you gotta do is talk to his ma beforehand, get a pic of his dad (the one he keeps by his bed), and dress up EXACTLY like his dad looked the day he abandoned your guy and his family. Imagine the look on his face when you walk in and say, “Son? I finally got those cigarettes I went out for…” OHHHH SNAP!!!!! The only possible outcome is that he will realize how much HE wants to be a father and pump your eggos full of sperm!