Our FAVORITE Diets for Oscar Season!

Hollywood’s big hoedown is less than a month away, and starlets of the silver screen are scrambling to squeeze into their dresses! We talked to the hottest celebrity trainers and nutritionists to see how their clients shed pounds before hitting the red carpet. Here are the most tried-and-true Oscar diets that can take you from flabby to flawless (in four weeks or fewer):
 

1. The Denial Diet

Do you believe in the power of the mind? The Denial Diet is about mentally suppressing your hunger until you forget that you’d kill a man for half a French fry. Though it tends to work best for more experienced compulsive liars like Kristen Stewart, The Denial Diet is a good starter program for anyone looking to drop a few el-bees before a big event.
 

2. The Dirt Diet

We all know fruits and vegetables are classic diet foods, but where do they get the nutrients that make them so healthy? The ground, obviously. The Dirt Diet allows you to eat as much soil as you want, as many times as you want, even in the shower, which makes it a favorite of stars like Sandra Bullock. With almost half the calories of fruits and veggies, and triple the nutrients, soil is an amazing way to lose fat fast. Just watch out for the potential black tongue and bloated belly.
 

 

3. The Aroma Diet

Half the time, food smells way better than it tastes. On the Aroma Diet, you can smell an unlimited amount of food, as long as you never ingest any of it. Natalie Portman notes some of her favorite recipes include Standing Next to a Taco Truck, and Pressing Your Face Up Against A Bakery. Rumor has it she used this diet to get back to her 10-year old body weight for Black Swan.
 

4. The Suck & Lick Diet

Instead of simply smelling food, the Suck & Lick Diet program encourages you to suck and lick pieces of fruit or vegetables, before spitting the remains into a small receptacle. “You get all the delicious food flavor, with only a fraction of the calories,” says Cate Blanchett.
 

5. The Secondhand Diet

The perfect regime for an actress with an entourage, the Secondhand Diet asks close friends to extensively describe what their food tastes like, so you don’t have to physically eat yours (Scarlett Johannsen reportedly uses her assistant as her surrogate eater). If you have no friends, try reading food magazines.
 

6. The Nap Diet

A celebrity favorite, the Nap Diet suggests you immediately go to sleep whenever you feel hungry. Stars love this idea because it not only cuts calories, but helps catch up on much-needed beauty sleep. Sources say Matthew McConaughey employed the Nap Diet to get down to his Dallas Buyer’s Club weight.
 

7. The Rancid Diet

Premised on eating only expired or curdled foods, the Rancid Diet has already caused 65 hospitalizations and four deaths in the short time since it was invented. Those who survive though, lose more weight than all other dieters combined. Wolf of Wall Street’s Margot Robbie is self-proclaimed fan.