A few years back, Elizabeth Gilbert taught sad single women everywhere how to eat, pray, and love their way to their inner goddess. But, my goodness, flying around the world is a pricey way to discover who you are. What about us regular folk who steal toilet paper from work? Here are some inexpensive ways to find your inner peace while still having money left over to pay the minimum on your credit card.
1. Eat (Food from Costco)
According to Liz, the first step to truly finding yourself is giving up on your appearance. Your jeans must leave deep, uncomfortable crease marks on your legs for you to realize you are a beautiful woman. Fortunately this is America, where copious amounts of fatty foods can be bought cheaply. I completed this step with a pack of twelve boxes of Combos Nacho Cheese Pretzels.
You don’t need to be in an ashram to get in touch with your feelings and desires. Just let ‘em flow out messily. You have lady parts, which makes this okay to do almost anywhere – but do it somewhere close to home so you’re not paying to get there.
Now that you’ve gained weight and cried, you’re definitely in a good place to find true love. While you could blow $19.99 on Match.com, it’s more cost effective to curl up with a leading man on Netflix. Your date may not walk you romantically along the beach, but he definitely won’t judge your constant eating and crying.
Congratulations! You are now armed with the right tools to find peace. The next time you think, “I want to be evolved, but I have to pay rent,” just shut up and go to Wendy’s.