Celebrity Couples Who Don’t Want You in Their Threesome

As a single, sexually open woman with a healthy curiosity about new sensual experiences, you have often wondered what it would be like to get into a filthy but sophisticated sex fiesta with a hot celebrity couple. That’s only natural. But what this fantasy ignores is how deeply unappealing this scenario would be to the beautiful couple in question. They are celebrities and have found their mirror image of perfection. In comparison you are more just a regular person with visible flaws. In order to make this crystal clear to you, let’s explore some examples.

 

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

In your fantasy, Angelina enters the bedroom and instructs you to tie up Brad on the bed. In reality, you’re not good with knots, were kicked out of the Girl Scouts, and aren’t anywhere near mega-celebrity level hot. Sure, you’re attractive, but what is it that you think you bring to this encounter that these two don’t already have times a million?

 

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend

You imagine yourself spending a relaxing day on the beach with Chrissy and John, after which the three of you go back to the cabana to shower. John runs his hand down Chrissy’s back, her flawless brown skin still warm from the sun. Here’s where your scenario goes wrong: you would not be there. These two genetically perfect gods are having amazing sex without you. Without anyone else.

Prince William and Kate Middleton

You probably pictured something like this, didn’t you?

 

WILL: Come sit next to Kate and me.

YOU: Yes your Royal Highness.

KATE: You can just call him Will.

YOU: A thousand apologies, Khaleesi.

KATE: Pardon?

YOU: Shall I dance for you?

US: *shaking you awake* THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN!

 

 

John Krasinski and Emily Blunt

Maybe you picture Emily texting you after dinner at the Damons’ to “Meet us at our place” followed by a night of rough sex. You pictured wrong. They are too hot and famous to want you in their threesome.

 

George and Amal Clooney

Seriously, you think after this exquisite women secured the world’s most eligible bachelor, she’d be looking to “spice things up” with the likes of you? No. No. NO.

 

It’s cute that you have these fantasies. But they’re some of the most unrealistic fantasies around. Throw just a hint of realism into your make-believe by toning it down a bit. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard seem game!