Are You Getting Your Eight Spiders a Year?

Nutrition, health, and a solid beauty regimen are important for all women, but especially aging women. As women grow older, they may find themselves lacking in certain nutrients and vitamins, leading to loss of skin elasticity. All people, but women especially, need their eight spiders a year to get the nutrients they need. But older women with drier, less inviting mouths may find it difficult to get enough fast-moving, night-crawling spiders in their diet. Here are some simple ways to get spiders into your mouth to weave their webs, spawn their offspring, and give your maturing body the sustenance it needs, and the spider sustenance it deserves.


Get Enough Sleep

It’s incredibly important for older women to get enough sleep. Sleep is vital for several reasons, first because as you sleep your body heals from the wear and tear of the day; second, because of the spiders you’re able to consume when you’re not conscious of their presence or disgusting taste. Sleep for 8-10 hours a night, and take naps if needed. Spiders aren’t as active during the day, but you’re still increasing the chance that one will crawl into your mouth. If you’re finding yourself still tired and feel like maybe you’re not getting your spiders, try a new pillow, perhaps one with ants printed on it.



It’s Not a Diet, It’s a Lifestyle

It’s hard to change the way we think about our bodies. With the daily stresses we have and our hectic schedules it’s easy to let our spider-eating routine go south. We all have a tendency to let things go, which is why it’s important to take steps to ensure you eat spiders as often as possible. It’s easier to make the changes we need to make if we think of spider nutrition as less of a diet and more like a lifestyle devoted to regular spider intake.



Many people wrongly assume that because spiders eat insects, they don’t like sweets. That’s wrong! Spiders enjoy a yummy treat just as much as any other creature. So have a smoothie before bed, and entice those spiders!



Don’t Get Grossed Out

Sure, when we all learned about vegetables and spider nutrition as children, we thought, “Ehkk, gross!” But as responsible adults it’s important to learn to love healthy living. Leave your mouth and your mind open as you peacefully go to sleep. You don’t want to sabotage your health over a few ill-informed ideas about the passive consumption of spiders!


With these steps you’re guaranteed to fulfill your nutritional needs in no time. Take control your life again, and get those spiders!