Reductress’ notorious gossip columnist Jay Crew gets the filthiest gossip from the trashiest celebs.
Amanda Seyfried stars in the upcoming porn biopic Lovelace, in the lead role of porn star Linda Lovelace. Reductress’ Jay Crew sat down with her to discuss the film.
R: Thanks for meeting me. Sorry I’m so late.
AS: I was nervous that I had the wrong location.
R: No, you’re fine. I got held up at the opening of Marc Jacobs’ new beauty store on Bleecker. Don’t even get excited – it’s basically MAC with fewer overweight thirty-somethings in black cargo capris and full drag makeup. N-E-wayz, the PR queen running the thing accused my friend Zo-E of stealing 14 lip glosses but I was like, “Uh. It’s not stealing. This is an opening. You give us stuff to write about you. It’s called journalism. Look it up.” This is why I lit-ruh-ly hate everyone.
AS: It sounds like it was just a misunderstanding.
R: You are so “good girl” I’m gagging. Okay, let’s order some niblets. Maybe, like a gorgeous little avocado toast, a just-for-color carrot salad, and a bottle of champagne each?
AS: I’m fine with coffee, thank you.
R: Loosen up, Mandy Moore. This little Cafe Gitane date is on me. I’m expensing the shit out of this city on Reductress. It’s like student charge.
AS: Well, I’m excited to tell your readers about my new movie, Lovelace.
R: Ugh, you are all business.
AS: It’s the story of Linda Lovelace and her battle to escape the world of adult films.
R: Is Adam Brody hung?
AS: Excuse me?
R: You guys have a sex scene, right?
AS: He plays Harry Reems, the co-star of Deep Throat.
R: Mmm hmm, aaaaaand?
AS: There are some really remarkable performances in this movie. Peter Sarsgaard was absolutely repulsive as Linda’s monster of a husband. And, James Franco plays Hugh Hef…
R: Okay, CTRL ALT DELETE.
R: I saw Oz. That’s enough Franco for one year. Okay, so Deb Mazar, Chloë Sevigny and Sharon Stone are in this. It’s basically a gay man’s dream minus Juliette Lewis. Were you worried the audience would want less of you and more of those goddesses?
AS: Um, it was an honor to work with such brilliant actresses.
R: So that’s a yes. Totally understandable. This is your first movie that doesn’t involve a post office. There was Dear John, Letters to Juliet…
AS: I starred in Mamma Mia! and Les Miserábles.
R: Touché. So, post office movies and any traveling show I could see at the Iowa City Community Theatre. Got it.
AS: I have five movies in pre-production and had the starring role in Chloe with Julianne Moore.
R: Julianne Moore is the star of anything she’s in. Everyone else is people props. I am uhb-sesssss-ed with her. I’m so the Spanish-Harlem-mesh-tank-top version of her. J’dying to interview her. Please make it happen.
AS: I’m sorry. This was a mistake. You’re cruel and unprofessional. Here’s two dollars for my coffee.
R: Hold on. Ugh. My editor’s texting me. Shit. She has “questions about my expense report.” Okay, we’re going to have to go halfsies on this tab.
AS: I’m not paying for this.
R: Fine. You just wrote the headline: “Amanda Zigfried: Argumentative Starlet Runs Up Tab at Hotel Bar, Absconds hashtag SharonStone” Finally, something to get people to read this interview.
AS: It’s Seyfried.
R: Uh huh. Call me when it’s Sevigny. Until then, have fun at prayer group.
Correction: According to a first-year law student Reductress IM’d, the Iowa City Community Theater shares no connection to Ms. Zigfried’s movies.