All Of Friend’s Turn-Ons Are Clearly Red Flags

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After meeting Joyce Fisher’s latest boyfriend, friends are concerned that Joyce is attracted to what they consider to be disturbing red flags in a partner. The boyfriend, who has a picture of boobs as his cellphone background and always allows Joyce to pick up his bar tab, has recently moved out of his parent’s basement and into Fisher’s one-bedroom apartment. “She says she loves ‘bad boys’ and guys who are ‘edgy,’” says Charlene Conner, Fisher’s cousin. “So she ends up dating the kind of guys who would follow you home from a bar.”


“We’ve all seen Joyce try to make it work with guys who just aren’t boyfriend material,” says Ellen Rogers, Fisher’s longtime friend and jogging buddy, “but this one has a Detroit Tigers tattoo on his neck. He’s not even from Detroit.”



According to Ms. Rogers, several of the men Joyce has dated have stolen items from her home, including toilet paper, a flat-screen TV, and most of her used underwear.


“I like a guy with attitude,” says Fisher, “Someone who doesn’t follow society’s rules.”


Fisher has been known to pick up men from all walks of life who share similar, glaring warning signs. The men in question range from musicians who have been kicked out of multiple bands to divorcés who turn out to be deadbeat dads.


“When Joyce brought some new guy to my birthday party, he rubbed his erect penis against my back on the dance floor,” says one friend. “I knew she must be excited about this one.”