It’s no secret that guys can sometimes feel emasculated by intelligent queries or conversation. Accidentally revealing that you have above-average problem-solving skills could send him running like a startled fawn! That’s why, from time to time, you need to ask your man a few naively precious questions to remind him that he really IS in charge of this relationship.
“Can you open this?”
If there’s one thing men hate, it’s when ladies flaunt their physical strength. Think you can just open that pickle jar by yourself and he’s not gonna get threatened? Nuh-uh. Think again. You don’t want to give him flashbacks to the time he didn’t make the swim team. Allow him to assert his dominance by poking out your lower lip and holding up the jar to him with a look of questioning despair. By lovingly reinforcing his superior position of strength, you’ll remind him that he really does wear the pants!
“Could you reach that?”
I mean, yeah, grabbing stuff off a high shelf isn’t that hard. But before you go being all liberated and grabbing that stepstool, remember that such a brazen display of independence is basically akin to pouring ice water onto his penis. Instead, innocently ask him if there’s any way his big, brawny arms could reach up and grab that well-hidden tube of hemorrhoid ointment. If you’re feeling extra presh, try wringing your hands for added effect.
While you might be capable of watching a football game without having to ask what’s going on, remember that you can only know so much about sports before guys assume you’re a know-it-all/lesbian. Remind him that you are neither by asking intently about everything that’s happening. Maybe even accidentally refer to it as “feetball” a few times. With any luck, his explanations will provide you both with some serious bonding moments, while simultaneously reassuring him that you are essentially a helpless waif.
“What year is it?”
Nothing makes guys feel more empowered and in charge than being responsible for someone with amnesia. Nothing gives power to another person quite like sheepishly asking them what your name is or where you are. By pretending that you have no recollections of your former life, you’ll allow him to feel like a truly masculine caretaker – because he will literally be taking care of your feeble-minded, forgetful self!
With a few adorable questions up your sleeve, it will become even simpler to ensure that your relationship’s power dynamic is securely imbalanced. And, when in doubt – just cool it on the smarts, okay hotshot? Remember how Carol tried to tell her boyfriend that he was saying “hyperbole” incorrectly? Yeah, now she lives in a furnished room with six cats. Just saying.