How to Buy Produce Even Though It Might Be Bad and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Will Always Taste the Same 

We all know fruits and vegetables are an essential part of a nutritious diet, but incorporating fresh ingredients into daily meals can feel challenging. Make yourself do some planned and thoughtful grocery shopping now, and with time the process will become second nature. Here’s how to go through the work of trying to pick the best produce at the store, all with the knowledge that it might just be bad and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos will always, always taste the same.

 

Let the produce pick you.

It’s good to know what you like, but you’re better off with the high-quality mango you didn’t plan on than the grainy apple you thought you wanted. Explore your local produce section and go with the best looking and feeling options. Of course, when you get home, you may just find that the $3 mango you chose is stringy and sour, whereas the $.99 spicy Cheetos you could have grabbed at the checkout line would have been absolutely delicious. That’s life, pal!

 

Eat the things you love.

Consume more veggies by incorporating them into your favorite dishes! Take a simple, comforting meal like pasta, then up its nutritional value by throwing in a medley of vegetables. Grab that zucchini that’s been dying in the back of your fridge for a week, cover it in oil and salt, and then roast the shit out of it till its edible! It’s a bit of work, but at least you’re not eating the delectable, consistent, mouth-watering little red crunchies that were biochemically engineered to taste better than anything.

 

Take joy in nourishing your body.

Nourishing your body with nature’s bounty is a beautiful gift to give yourself. So next time you’re looking for a snack, try some crackers with that brown-spotted, slightly rancid avocado that was rock-hard two days ago. It’s a choice you can feel good about, even though you also feel pretty good while diving into the bacchanalian ritual of turning your tongue and fingers Devil-red while you wolf down esophagus-burning, absolutely addictive Flamin’ Hot Cheetos: The best food in the world.

 

 

So try these tips to get into the habit of buying and eating fresh produce that, at the end of the day, might just be bad. Enjoy your Earth food, and try not to think about how you could be eating the height of human innovation: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.