8 Seamless Ways to Bring up Your Ex-Boyfriend in Conversation

Breakup - Reductress

Who cares that you mutually broke up two years ago after four months of erratic dating? What matters is that you still have a lot to say about that “douchebag who stole your heart and your Mean Girls DVD collector set!” Get your friends to stop rolling their eyes and start paying attention to your everlasting woes with these surprising and interesting moments to bring up that asshole:


Complimenting Your Friend’s New Lipstick:
“Is that the new Rihanna lipstick from MAC? I love it! It’s the same color as the Vodka-Cran Jordan bought me on our first date. I still can’t believe he moved to Detroit in this economy.”


While Shoe-Shopping: 
“These are such cute shoes! Tom used to wear those…not those shoes in particular, but brown shoes in general.”


When Asking For A Tampon:
“Hey, do you have a tampon? I forgot mine at home, and Kyle just changed his profile pic to one of him and some really pretty blonde girl who is not his cousin.”


During the “Should I Get Bangs” Discussion:
“But they were so cute when I had them two years ago! They were blunt, but not too blunt, and they shaped my face really well! Also, is it bad that I think David’s new girlfriend needs to get her teeth fixed?”


When Giving Directions:
“Take a left onto Lougheed Highway and go all the way past the Ikea where Frank and I got into that massive blowout in the parking lot. He was so mad at me for adding his ex on Facebook.”



At Work:
“This alphabetizer contains every single letter in Jeremy’s name…maybe it’s a sign that I’m gonna see him at the Roxy tonight.”


When Eating
“This is so delicious. I love chocolate. I still can’t get over the fact that Devin didn’t like chocolate. It was sort of adorable but annoying, you know?”


Grocery Shopping at Whole Foods:
“There’s a burrito bar here?! Matthew never loved me.”


Wednesday Wine Night doesn’t have to be the only appropriate time to bring up “You-know-who – I can’t say his name or I’ll just get super angry and ruin everyone’s night” anymore. Let it all out whenever you get the chance!