8 Works Of Literature You Absolutely Have To Rub Up Against Your Boobs In Your 20s

It’s a hard time to be a woman in her twenties. The job market is intimidating, technology is advancing rapidly, and dating is as confusing as ever. However, the problems we face today aren’t as unique as we think – you might just get the advice you need from classic works of literature. Not from reading them — from rubbing them on your boobs! Here are eight legendary works of literature that will give you the answers you need when you mash them all over your sweet, sweet nips.


Macbeth – William Shakespeare

Wow, yeah. What a book. A classic play about betrayal, greed, and corruption within a political system that is still relevant today. The words inside this book are timeless, so make sure you slide the soaring prose of Shakespeare all over your tits before you hit the big 3-0.


To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

This classic story is still socially relevant today in light of systematic racial injustices being brought to the forefront of our sociopolitical conversation, and as a young woman in today’s society, you owe it to yourself to turn down the lights, open to page 142, and let Atticus Finch’s timeless speeches make your nipples kind of hard when you rub it all over your boobs.


The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald 

This novel highlighting the dangers of a culture focused superficiality and appearances still rings true today for our Facebook generation, so run, don’t walk, to a bookstore so you can lock yourself in the bathroom and destroy your boobs with this classic tale of excess.



Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand

Light some candles and make some time for John Galt’s famous speech to get all up in your titties so you can get back out into the world and be the best 20-something you can be. This book has over a thousand pages so you can really get down and dirty on your mammaries while you’re still in your prime.


The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne

Hawthorne’s tale of a woman being publicly shamed for her decisions is still as relevant today in a society that expects constant access to women’s intimate information, so make sure you think long and hard about that while you’re going to town on your fun bags with this classic work of literature.


Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes – Eleanor Coerr

This book about hope and the triumph of the human spirit is going to change the way you live out the rest of your twenties when you mash it all over your boobs as though you’ve never been hurt before.


The Communist Manifesto – Karl Marx

In an age where communication with people from other nations is easier than ever, it’s important to know about other cultures and political systems, so go buck wild on your titties with a set of ideas that might be different from your own.


A Farewell to Arms – Ernest Hemingway

Say farewell to arms and hello to boobs! Tittyfuck yourself with this book until you feel like your college degree means something.


While the issues you’re facing in your twenties might feel overwhelming, you can always find solace in the pages of a good book when you rub that book all over your nips until you forget what your problems were in the first place!