5 Ways to Take Back that Racist Thing You Just Said

Friends - Reductress

You’re never going to admit to being a little racist, because you’re not—you’re seriously not. You have friends who work with someone of a different race which basically makes you a sage of color blindness. So when that crumb of socially unacceptable insensitivity slips between your lips, be ready with these real-life “command-Z” bullets to make everyone, including yourself, forget that incredibly racist thing you just said:
 

1. Pin It On Somebody Else

If you are able to recognize mid-racist sentence that what you’re saying is racist, slowly transition what you’re saying into a quote, as if someone else who’s racist said it, and you’re just repeating it for shock value. Example: “’Kerry Washington is surprisingly eloquent…’ – is what Megyn Kelly said about her. Can you believe it?!” Raise your eyebrows for added effect.
 

2. Go for the Classic Diversion

It works in cartoons, and it can work in real life. After you realize you’ve said something racist, immediately point up at the sky and yell “Woah! Those birds are fucking!” There is no person in the world that would not look up. When everyone returns to the conversation, no one will remember that racist thing you just said because they’ll be thinking about birds having sex.
 

 

3. Throw the Curve Ball

Immediately after you’ve said that really terrible, racist thing, turn the table on your friend by saying, “Wait, what?” The question, if posed with the perfect confused and disgusted facial expression, will blow a storm of confusion your friend’s way and make them think that they said the racist thing, not you.
 

4. Play the Long Game

Not for the faint of heart, this technique has a 1-in-10 fail rate, but when it works, it works well. After you’ve said that racist thing, continue your conversation as if it never happened. Once a few days have passed, remind your friend via text that “Hey, I was on cold meds and feeling really loopy at dinner and may have said some things that do no represent my actual beliefs so plz don’t use it against me if I ever run for office, LOL. Sry tho.”
 

5. Just Deny It

You’ve said something racist and everyone’s in shock. Contradict your previous statements by explaining that you meant to say the exact opposite. “Oops, what did I just say? I was trying to explain that immigrants work very hard for their opportunities here.”
 
The next time you accidentally say something offensive, just remember that everyone’s a little bit racist – but you’re definitely the exception.