You decided this was going to be your year, and, girl, you’re doing it! You’re neutering your cat! Sharpen your surgical scalpels and frantically throw your hair frizz into one of these trendy scrunchies to let everyone know that this is the year you decide you don’t need a “vet” to neuter your little baby!
1. Wordly Scrunchie (Forever 21, $1.90)
The world is a wondrous place full of feline creatures big and small! And this unique scrunchie shows that even though you know that Pepper gives you all the company you need, and you can’t bear the heartbreak of taking her children away from her again. Flop your hair up in this eccentric piece to show your friends (and Pepper) that you appreciate worldly things like watching Animal Plant and worldly activities like neutering your cat. These loud exotic colors scream “Hey! I might have missed my sister’s wedding to catch up on Animal Planet’s Too Cute, but I also ordered At-Home Cat Neutering for Beginners from Amazon and have really found my ‘thing’ for 2016.”
2. Shiny, Sassy, “I’m Doing This” Scrunchie (American Apparel, $6)
“Am I actually doing this? Yes, I am doing this. For Pepper.” This internal monologue might sound familiar to you, but the minute you haphazardly toss your hair into this sassy scrunchie, you can boldly declare it to the world (mainly to Pepper who is the only one allowed in your bedroom) that yes, you made the decision to do this, to unapologetically neuter your cat all by your brassy, female self. “Yaaasssss, you go girl!” says Pepper, in her own way.
3. Sultry, Velvet Scrunchie (Topshop, $8)
Velvet. The sexiest of fabrics. Celebrate a night of self-love to prepare yourself for the fateful day. Light a candle, take a bath, and slip your hair into something more comfortable: this safe, velvet loop of love. As you look sensually at yourself in the mirror, gently whispering “I’m fine. This won’t hurt Pepper. What I’m doing is probably very normal in other countries. Also I don’t care anymore. Should we order Chinese tonight, Pepper baby?” You can feel reassured that this scrunchie will keep your hair far from falling in front of your face during the surgical procedure.
4. Red Cotton Scrunchie (American Apparel, $6)
Say goodbye to Pepper’s potential for offspring with this festive bright red (the color of cat blood) scrunchie. Yes, every time you wear it the color will remind you of the incisions and stitches you performed on your cat’s groin BUT it will also remind everyone else you really did something new this year. That thing may not have been doing your hair in a flattering way, but you did something!
So the next time you want a low-effort way to keep your hair out of your face so you can focus on Pepper’s surgical site, choose the scrunchie that best honors and represents your dedication to your cat and your absolute lack of participation in the outside world.