4 Chunky Knit Scarves to Hide The Vicious Lamprey Hooked to Your Body

Alice Hannah Chunky Knit Scarf (ASOS, $43)

Made from luxury yarns, this scarf by Alice Hannah should adequately hide the thrashing 30 inches of fish hanging from your body. Grab this knitted beaut while it’s still on sale, and before that lamprey has sucked out an irreconcilable volume of blood and altered your internal chemistry. We love it in cream!