35 Ways Your Father is Mispronouncing Mariska Hargitay’s Name

If you’re a woman and you’ve ever told your father you watch Law and Order: SVU, chances are, he’s been entirely unable to pronounce the completely phonetic name of the actress who plays Detective Olivia Benson, Mariska Hargitay. To help you cope, we surveyed hundreds of women and curated a comprehensive list of all of the ways in which your father is getting this woman’s name wrong:

 

1. Marska Haggerty

2. Marcia Hannigan

3. Maria Hagrid. It’s Hagrid, right?

4. Mark Wahlberg

5. Mary Martin

6. The woman from that rape show you watch, now turn it off, it’s Thanksgiving

7. Mary Harry McGarry

8. Mars Bars

9. Mishka Mooshka Mickey Mouse

10. Where the hell is Jerry Orbach?

11. Ma-Risky Business

12. Marshmallow

13. Mar-Mar Har-har-gooty, or however you say it

14. Maria Full of Grace

15. “More like ‘Mariska Har-dtopronounce,’ ha ha ha!”

 

 

16. Well how was I supposed to know it’s the same lady as the last episode? Her hair is different!

17. Martin Hartin Gartin

18. I just love that Maroon 5

19. Malarkey Hoegarten

20. Ma-riiiiiiiicola

21. Connie Britton

22. Maricky Martin

23. Ma-wrist Hurts

24. Marip Van Winkle

25. Bruno Mars

26. That Russian

27. Mary Gay

28. Marco Polo

29. Mo Mo

30. Marcus Garvey Blvd.

31. Maria Gasket

32. Michelin Man

33. Hakuna Matata

34. Mariska Hargitaylor Swift

35. Diane Lane

 

Though it is virtually impossible to correct your father’s inability to pronounce Mariska Hargitay’s name, we invite you to save this list as a reminder that you are not alone in this. Also, you should rest assured that whenever Ice-T comes on screen, your father will go, “Woah, Ice-T’s in this?” no matter how many times he’s seen the show. Good luck!