You Should Stop Wearing Makeup Because I’m Beautiful

Ladies, it’s time to stop scrubbing, plucking, and layering heavy liquids and powders on to our naturally flawless skin. It’s time for us to stop giving money to the billion dollar cosmetics industry and embrace our perfectly symmetrical, hairless faces. You don’t need these things in your life.

 

Why? Because I’m naturally beautiful.

 

Sure, we all look more awake with a little concealer and mascara, but I happen to look just as good stepping out of the shower as I do with a full face of makeup. Waking up in the morning with perfectly tousled hair and sleepy eyes is when I feel I am my most beautiful, and objectively, that’s true. And that’s why you need to stop putting all this stuff on your face and believe in my own natural beauty.

 

When I am in a hurry I use a little moisturizer and some chap stick and I am out the door, and I slay all day. Why would I take a bunch of time contouring my already perfectly contoured face? I don’t know what you look like but honestly let’s stop.

 

As a person with high cheekbones, I occasionally take my “no-makeup” look a step further by wearing weird, ugly glasses. It doesn’t always work, sometimes I end up looking even cuter. It’s crazy. Maybe you should try it? It definitely works for me.

 

Imagine how good you’ll feel showing your truest you; the you underneath all those those eyelash extensions and microblading. Are those things people do? Is highlighter a thing? My face has a natural iridescent glow, so people ask me all the time what highlighter I use and I say “Do you mean, like, for studying?” It gets a good laugh because I’m beautiful.

 

 

I know, I know. “What about my wedding pictures?” “What about special occasions?” Relax! All you need is a little thing I call “smizing”. I put energy into my face, lean forward, and no matter what, I look perfect in every picture every time. What people will be seeing in your wedding album for years to come is you embracing your true, makeup-free, natural beauty and me next to you with jaunty, bushy eyebrows that frame my face in the most alluring way. Which is crazy because I’ve never had them waxed or shaped. I could never imagine ripping my hair out at the roots! Barbaric!

 

The only way to describe how I look once I, for some reason, apply makeup is “even better” or “wow that’s amazing”. But do I need to hear that every day? No! I’ve heard it enough! So let’s all commit a radical act of self-care and body acceptance regardless of what your body looks like because mine is pretty much widely accepted as being the most attractive and unattainable. Good luck!

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