Every woman’s body is beautiful no matter its shape or size, but physical attributes like thigh gaps, bikini bridges, and protruding collarbones are nothing that anyone should strive for. You see, I can’t help that you can see my collarbone — I’m a spooky skeleton decoration! It’s not my fault!
I know you must be thinking I’m pretty uniquely beautiful. After all, you can’t just see my collarbone, you can see all my bones. From my clavicle to my fibula to my pelvis and all the way down to my metatarsals, my figure leaves almost nothing to the imagination because I lack skin or muscle tissue! I know thin women often bemoan a lack of curves, but I seriously don’t have any curves. I’m really spiky. It hurts people.
I’d love to flaunt a deep V-neck, but I can’t! Shirts slide right off me and my bones. As decorations used around stores and houses in preparation for Halloween, I end up being a spooky sex symbol. But that’s not what I want!
Why can’t people just accept I’m all bones? When people see me hangin’ around, they’re spooked and filled with fright! I say, “Boo!” and they say, “Ahh!” And it’s not the “Ahh” of “You’re so small, what’s your secret?” It’s the “Ahh” of “You’re too full of bones! This is upsetting!”
Look: I’m not trying to set completely unrealistic beauty standards. This is how I was manufactured! For me, this is body is 100% natural.
I think it’s important to realize that no matter how many human envy my spooky yet skinny look, they’ll never have hundreds of visible bones on display for all to see. I’m the epitome of a body trend and it’s extremely unhealthy in humans. Luckily, I’m just a plastic decoration hanging around as part of a creepy Halloween aesthetic, and then I’ll be put away in a cupboard until next year.
Yes, I’m a skinny bitch! But don’t be too jealous, okay because I’m also a spooky skeleton decoration, okay? Boo!