This week, 24-year-old Sandrine Kirk enjoyed cunnilingus from her boyfriend by relentlessly wondering if he was enjoying it while he was going down on her. While he has made it clear that the cunnilingus is for her pleasure, she still finds herself getting caught up in whether he was having a good time doing it.
“I hope he was having fun,” says Kirk. “Cause I was way too focused on whether it was good for him to actually finish.”
Fran Gellard, Kirk’s close friend, has tried to convince her to turn the focus to her satisfaction despite the internalized societal pressure for her to worry about the wellbeing of those around her.
“As women, we are told to prioritize a guy’s pleasure, even if it costs us our own,” says Gellard. “But more importantly this seems like a real waste of getting eaten out, you know?”
Despite Gellard’s words, Kirk has no plans to start enjoying oral sex without worrying about whether her partner likes it.
“Simply enjoying the amazing feeling of his tongue on my clitoris?” says Kirk. “Yeah, I don’t see that being a thing for me anytime soon.”
Kirk’s current sexual partner of two months, 26-year-old Adrian Hunter, has spoken to Kirk’s behavior when it comes to oral sex.
“I start going down on her and after 20 seconds she whips her head up saying, ‘Is this fun for you? You can stop!’” says Hunter who is carefully watched by the squinty-eyed, furrowed-browed Kirk whenever he tries to pleasure her.
At the conclusion of this interview, Kirk’s phone buzzed with a text from Hunter telling her he has a surprise for her.
“Ugh, I just know he’s going to try to get his face all up in my vagina,” says Kirk. “It’s exhausting to have to worry about whether he’s having a blast being buried in my labia while I’m trying to orgasm.”