Woman With New Boyfriend Now Refers to Hanging Out as ‘Girl’s Night’

Murder - Reductress

Ever since her relationship status changed to “in a relationship” last Friday, Amber Rafford of Portland, ME has now been labeling any moment spent with her friends as a “girl’s night”.

 

The behavior is reportedly “typical Amber,” according to various sources.

 

Amber’s friends first noticed the change when her contributions to their daily group text slowly tapered off, only appearing now and then to post pictures of her and Cole doing “dumb couple stuff.” After the relationship became Facebook official, however, everything changed.

 

“Not even 30 seconds after her status changed, Amber messaged the group thread and called us her ‘gal tribe,’” says friend Lisa Coen. “Amber’s never said the words ‘gal’ or ‘tribe’ in her whole life. Why start now?”

 

The behavior continued throughout the day as Amber’s coworkers reported that she described their daily, quiet lunch in the break room as “lady time,” even referring to their usual gripes about their boss as a “man-bashing sesh.”

 

“It’s like she’s possessed by the ghost of Sex and the City,” says one unnamed coworker.

 

On her way home from work, Amber’s roommate messaged her to see what she’d like for dinner. “I asked if she wanted some leftover pasta. Suddenly, Amber’s saying she’s ‘so excited to finally have a ladies’ night,’ like it’s some special event,” says Sasha McClure. “I guess I appreciate her enthusiasm, but I was planning on just watching Game of Thrones and passing out. She kept me up until 2 AM to paint my nails and circle shoes in Vogue.”

 

Just one week into her new relationship, Amber began posting elaborate Instagram collages of her friends with hashtags such as: #thesisterhood, #hensovermen, and #wombwarriors.

 

 

“I haven’t heard from Amber in years. Then yesterday, I got a notification that I’m tagged with one hundred other women in an invitation collage for a ‘ladies night out.’ She’d Photoshopped all of our heads onto baby chick bodies,” said Amber’s high school friend, Lauren Lambert. “I live in Michigan.”

 

“I’m glad she’s not one of those women who ditched her friends the second she got a boyfriend, but I don’t want to spent my Wednesday with some cheap Chardonnay and a paint by number because she feels guilty,” noted Stephanie Flax, Amber’s yoga buddy.

 

When questioned, Amber drafted a sketch for a tattoo of “chicks before dicks” she plans on getting behind her ear as reminder to always listen her ladies. Then, she texted ten friends about making plans for a group bikini wax.

 

Amber’s new boyfriend noted, “It’s not that serious yet. We’re both pretty busy.”

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