Woman Taking Nap Without Setting Alarm Has No God, No Rules

Proving her lawless, hedonistic nature once and for all, 27-year old Willa Levy is presently taking a nap without having set an alarm. The Savannah resident’s decision to go to sleep in the middle of the day with absolutely no assurance that she will ever wake up indicates that Levy has no God, and no rules.

 

Levy’s roommate, Sam Arlington, was the first to discover the reckless slumberer and piece together the unholy scene.

 

“I was texting Willa on my way home from work when she told me was going to take a nap,” said Arlington. “When I arrived at the apartment, her phone was on the kitchen table, and she was fast asleep. That means this was a premeditated, alarmless nap. I’m not even sure how to process that.”

 

The uncovering of Levy’s wild stint plunged Arlington into a deep anxiety over the lengths to which her roommate’s disregard of order may extend.

 

“I mean I live with this person,” said Arlington. “How am I supposed to share a space with someone who flouts the very laws and structures that allow our society to function without descending into chaos? Also, how am I supposed to address these questions when I have no idea when she’ll be awake?”

 

 

Unable to handle the shocking situation on her own, Arlington informed a mutual friend, Anna Weiss, of Levy’s startling doze.

 

“As soon as Sam called me, I came right over,” said Weiss. “I had to see it to believe it.”

 

“Taking a nap in the evening to begin with is a dangerous game,” continued Weiss. “But to go to sleep at 5pm on a weekday and not so much as set an alarm? You are begging the gods to strike you down.”

 

Levy’s friends report that the rash nap is in-character for Levy, who subscribes to no higher power.

 

“Her life is the Wild West, apparently,” said Arlington. “Willa is some sort of wild sleep heathen who may spend the rest of her days in slumber for all we know.”

 

Update: Levy reportedly just awoke from her nap after five hours, sweaty and confused.

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