Woman Scores Book Deal Through Obsessive Narcissism

California-based mommy blogger Cheryl Collins won a publishing contract with Simon & Schuster this week after her self-obsessed blog, “Big Time Momma,” went viral. The blog gained popularity despite Collin’s lack of writing experience or any interests beyond the immediate day-to-day events of being a mom.

Collins began blogging nine months ago when her husband’s job transferred him from Wisconsin to Marin County. “It was such a culture shock being in a town where no one knows you,” said Collins of the cross-country move, “so I started blogging about my sons, Tucker and Lennon, to remind myself that we’re still important to people back home.” Her husband, who she is legally unable to name due to his work for U.S. military intelligence, is referred to simply as “My Army Man” throughout her posts.

Collins’ inaugural blog post described the unpacking process and move in excruciating detail. “Army Man did not know I used a vibrator until the move—maybe that’s why I found it in the kitchen junk drawer!?” Collins wrote. “He’s such a dork.”

Events that Collins finds stressful are repeatedly commented on in the blog with the line, “def earned my glass of wine for the day.”

Collins’  blog went viral after she posted about her son, Lennon, going to preschool for the first time. “I wonder how the other kids would treat him if they knew he refuses to wear anything but his favorite pair of Spiderman underpants every day – you know Momma doesn’t have the time to wash them!” Collins mused, and uploaded a photo of Lennon jumping on the couch wearing nothing but his underpants.

While that post put Collins’ name on the map, a follow-up piece broke new ground with a photo slideshow of her youngest son in different stages of a tearful breakdown with accompanying captions of his thoughts, such as, “but I really want another cookie!”

“Collins has just the kind of off-the-wall humor that is selling big right now,” said a representative from Simon & Schuster. “All the public wants right now is someone with absolutely no shame, who will share every detail of their life and their unsuspecting small children’s lives, so she has really hit a home run with this blog.”