Following a recent breakup, 24-year-old Reagan Marshall has been listening to sad music even though she’s already sad to intentionally make herself sadder.
“I’m feeling really down,” said Reagan. “So I figured I’d lean into it and just fully wallow.”
Despite the fact that the end of her two-year relationship already has her feeling morose, Reagan is committed to unnecessarily making it worse by listening to Sufjan Stevens latest album on a loop while she lays fully clothed on top of her bed.
“If I’m going to be miserable anyway, I might as well be as miserable as possible,” she explained. “That’s why I’m listening to Aimee Mann and staring forlornly out the window of a train. I don’t even need to be on this train. It just felt right.”
Reagan, who went through an extended emo phase in middle and high school, is no stranger to music that helps her double down on her melancholy.
“I have all my go-to gloomy artists in the rotation,” said Reagan. “It’s been nothing but Bright Eyes, Elliott Smith, and Death Cab for Cutie, all day every day. I even threw in that Aerosmith song they play at the end of “Armageddon” because that one always gets me in my feelings.”
In addition to only playing music that amplifies her pre-existing despair, Reagan has also been ignoring all of her friends’ suggestions for how to actually feel better.
“This is like the third time this has happened,” said Reagan’s close friend Maggie Ramirez. “I’ve offered to come over and feed her ice cream, I’ve told her that I’m happy to hear her vent. But the only thing she seems to be interested in is listening to, like, Mount Eerie. And I can’t hear that song about his wife’s death again, it’s so depressing.”
“She always does this, even when she’s sad over something minor,” added Lisette DeNardo, another one of Reagan’s friends. “I keep telling her that distracting herself from her sorrow is probably healthier than wallowing in it, but this is just her way of dealing with it I guess? I tried to stop by her apartment but she was in the bathtub listening to “Sunrise, Sunset” from Fiddler On The Roof. It’s so fucked up.”
But for Reagan, this is what works. When asked if she sees herself taking steps to feel better anytime soon, she seemed a little skeptical.
“I mean, I definitely want to feel happier at some point,” Reagan said. “But I’m not ready to dig myself out of this misery pit just yet.”
“Right now, I just want to be sad,” she added. “Specifically, The Postal Service’s only LP sad.”