According to reports, Tracey Welker alarmed her friends this week after she invited them to her Facebook event called “Inauguration Day Drinking Game!!!” as if any of this is fun.
In the event’s description, Welker invites friends to her apartment to watch Trump’s inauguration, suggesting participants take “a sip whenever Trump does a weird thing with his hands” and “a shot when Trump says a word that doesn’t exist!”
Welker’s friends were reportedly dumbfounded.
“Does she think this is still the primaries?” asks Katherine Ryck, Welker’s coworker. “How am I expected to make a game out of what is essentially a national tragedy?”
Yet Welker thinks it will be a good distraction.
“I thought it would be a nice silver lining for us to make a ladies night of it!” says Welker, blissfully ignorant of how shitty it will be to watch Trump get sworn in regardless of intoxication levels. “We can’t have too many drinking game rules though, otherwise someone is going to get alcohol poisoning.”
Some friends have chosen to not attend.
“I’m probably going to lose my health insurance,” says Nora Pell, a friend of Welker’s. “Also, I can’t even look at Trump’s face. I plan on sitting at home in my bed and crying—maybe researching statistics about nuclear warfare if I feel up to it.”
“Typically I don’t pass up a drinking game but I learned from my election night mistakes,” says Bailey Moser, Welker’s friend from college. “I woke up on the 9th with a hangover that I still haven’t recovered from.”
But Welker won’t allow her friends to rain on her parade.
“The party is gonna be lit!” says Welker. “No one’s responded that they’re coming yet, but if I know my ladies, they’ll show up!”
One friend seems excited by the idea.
“I’m going to be getting drunk anyway,” says Marissa Keebler. “Might as well do it where there’s someone there to like, call 911.”
At press time, eight different attendees had reported the event as “inappropriate content.”