I love my husband. I’m so proud to be his wife and I like to think of our marriage as the day when we legally and emotionally became a partnership. That’s why I took his last name—because we’re on the same team! Of course there are certain places where my hubby’s skills fall short: like being reliable, or on time for important events, or answering his phone. That’s why even though I took his name, I’m still keeping my mom as my emergency contact because she is the one person in this world I can trust.
My husband has so many amazing qualities. He’s kind. He’s funny. He loves sports. But there are still some areas where he could use a little work. For example, sometimes when I’m very sick and stuck at work I call and call and he never answers and when he finally does he’s like, “I’m sorry I just can’t pick you up see ya tonight!” So I guess that’s just what moms are for!
I love having my husband’s last name on my new drivers license, and I love knowing that if I’m ever injured, my mom will have to give my new last name to the hospital reception desk when she comes to see me first before my husband because she’s my emergency contact and not him.
It makes me feel warm, cozy and safe, knowing that my husband and I are a little family that has the same last name. It’s just that my mom makes me feel physically safe in a way that my husband is just kind of so-so on. I’m sure when we have kids he’ll get better, but until then, I’ve got Mom on speed dial in case shit really hits the fan.
I know not all women like the idea of taking their husband’s names. They feel like it’s giving in to archaic patriarchal notions of “ownership.” But let me tell you this: There is nothing more feminist than being fully unable to rely on the men in your life when things matter most. Isn’t that what marriage is all about?