It was an evening like any other evening. I had a glass of red wine after dinner, I watched some TV, and then I decided to have some fun with my vibrator. Little did I know that just a few minutes later, I’d turn over, put it on the nightstand and say, “Thank you, baby.”
I’ve asked friends whether they’ve goofed like this before. I told them it was an accident, and that I didn’t mean to call it that. It was just really doing a good job and something deep within me wanted me to let it know. When I told them that, they seemed to get where I was coming from and that really I could just stop talking about it now.
Haha, oops, I guess!
I bet you think that something like this could never happen to you. But if something brings you that much joy on a regular basis, it’s easy to slip up and treat it like a dear loved one. At first, I was embarrassed. I wondered – am I so lonely that I have no choice but to call my vibrator a sexy pet name? But then, I realized that this little battery-powered sweetheart has given me more sexual pleasure than any of the lazy men I’ve ever been with, and “baby” was mild compared to what I really wanted to say to it. This thing is better at sex than any of my exes, so why can’t I say “Oh baby you feel so good, I think I love you, my soulmate” to it?
LOL I don’t know! It was just an oopsie or whatever!
Ultimately, I know I made a mistake, and for that I want to acknowledge. But also, I’m not going to freak out, because in many ways, I love fucking this plastic toy so much that honestly, I’m fucking in love with it.
To all the women out there who have accidentally let their vibrators know that they are close to finishing, I am here to tell you: you are not alone. It has happened to the best of us, and as long as we acknowledge that it was a mistake, it will be fine. But also, your vibrator is there for you when you need it the most, it always makes you come, and it’s gorgeous and has a heart that’s good and true. And if you accidentally get down on one knee and ask it, “Baby, will you marry me?” it will be the most beautiful mistake of all.
