Ways To Show Yourself Love That Aren’t Just Masturbating

Every woman deserves to feel constantly overwhelmed by the power of her own love for herself. But in the busy lives we lead, it can be hard to find the time to give ourselves that loving boost. Let’s face it—we don’t always have time or the space for intense and prolonged masturbation! Here are some simpler, more meaningful ways to share a little love with your inner lady-woman.

 

Eat a lot of cake!

An important part of loving yourself is listening to your feelings, and if they’re telling you to eat cake, then go eat some cake, for Pete’s sake! Cake not only gives you an intense hit of calories (hello, energy!), but can be done in public places, as well. Consuming it regularly ensures there’ll be more of you to self-love in no time!

 

Spend lots of money online!

Blowing $300 on a beautiful pair of shoes during your lunch break will remind you that, despite how little affection your boss shows you, you’re worth a great deal (around $300!). Sure, you could just masturbate and release happiness-inducing endorphins into your body, but think about how much you’ll want to sex yourself after you’ve bought those sexy heels! (Warning: This will not work if you are poor.)

 

Consider exercising?

Thinking about embarking on a new exercise regimen is proven to be a powerful boost for the body and soul. You can entertain your plans for Bikram, Pilates or a military-style bootcamp for as little as 30 seconds and still feel that inner “I love me” glow. Plus you’re building stamina for future cooter clubbing!

 

 

Walk into American Apparel and then walk straight out.

No woman who has even an ounce of love for herself should ever have to know how she looks in jungle print leggings and a cropped raglan sweater. Prove to your inner goddess that you love her by walking into American Apparel and then walking straight back out of there. They may be sweatshop-free, but your heart and body is a sweatshop—of self-love!

 

Have very fast sex with a stranger!

Seeking love and approval from the nearest stranger is an easy way to force yourself to find a little self-love within—you’ll need it when he never calls! If you don’t use protection you can spend the next few weeks meditating on how hard it would be to love yourself with genital warts and/or an unplanned pregnancy. Way to get some perspective!

 

The best way to show yourself the unconditional love you crave is obviously frantic masturbation. But if a heavy session doesn’t fit into your schedule, find another way to show yourself you care!

COMMENTS

view all comments hide comments

Comments are closed.