Look ladies, we all know we don’t just put on lipstick to look cute. We do it in the hopes that a little bit of lippy will slip back into our mouths—yum! For when you’re really feeling your look (and kinda tasting it, too!) here’s how to get the flavor you crave without anyone noticing.
Do a classic Kleenex blot, then add tongue.
Keeping your lipstick flawless and flavorful is practically a full time job, but the blot-plus-tongue makes it easier than ever. After applying the shade you’ve been dying to try, casually take a tissue and close your mouth around it to remove excess lipstick; while your mouth is closed, stick your tongue out a little bit until you start to taste something artificial and vaguely toxic. Mmmmmmm, a little lipstick snack for your mouth!
Gingerly smack your lips.
Discretion is key, and the traditional lip smack is the perfect way to secretly savor your ‘stick. Right as you pucker up for an Insta-worthy pout, run your tongue along your sucked-in lips and get that taste you’ve been craving for so long! Just make sure not to blot before you do this—you want to leave a little on your teeth for later!
Seal it with a (French) kiss.
Nothing is cuter and more personal than sealing important documents, letters, even Snapchats with a kiss… well, nothing except maybe adding some tongue action! A light makeout with your kiss mark after a SWAK is not only subtle and sweet, but also maybe a little sour? And kinda bitter now that the flavor is really setting in… def waxy, tho!
Kiss a stranger on the cheek, then lick his face.
Pucker up and prepare to dazzle. This flirtatious gesture is best reserved for when you don’t know how much attendance your lipstick requires. So instead of checking it in a mirror, check out a cute guy, give him a smile, move in, and lightly kiss him on the cheek. Just for a little taste. Mmm. You are flirty!
Wipe the corners of your mouth with your finger then suck on that finger as if it’s the only thing that’s keeping you alive.
Smudges happen, and there is no better way to solve them than to use your fingers to carefully clear the corners of your mouth before plunging your lipstick-stained digits way back into your mouth. Then clean those puppies like it’s your job, making sure to savor every last bit of your Mac Viva Glam. More like Mac Viva Yum! Am I right, ladies? Hell yeah, you know what I’m talking about! Don’t lie; you love a lil’ nibble of lippy!
Eat the tube of lipstick, like a push-up popsicle.
Curiosity consumes, and so do you. Just twist up that tube of Tangy Tangerine lip color and go to town. Just eat the whole goddamn thing—you know you want to! Let us know if it tastes like a tangerine, or just waxy like the rest of them.
Now that you know these tips and tricks for touching-up and tasting, you can own the world from catwalks to coffee shops… and you’ll have everyone saying, “Maybe she doesn’t know she’s eating it? Maybe it’s Maybelline.”