During a recent day at the office, Los Angeles resident Kaya Brooks’ stomach churned loudly, after which she noted, “Ugh, my stomach is growling again.” However, every witness to the incident unanimously agreed that Brooks was clearly holding in a fart.
The grumble in question took place in the middle of a morning meeting, causing everyone to look over in her direction. Brooks looked up, reportedly embarrassed, and turned red as the meeting continued. Despite the unequivocal fart rumble in Brooks’ stomach, Brooks made it clear to her surrounding coworkers after the fact that the story she was going with was that she hadn’t eaten in a while.
“I barely had breakfast and it’s almost lunchtime,” says Brooks. “I’m so embarrassed my stomach rumbled so much. I’ll definitely bring a powerbar next time.”
Sources confirm that a powerbar wouldn’t have helped the situation, considering that what really happened is that Brooks held in a very intense, powerful fart.
“Anyone ready for lunch? I am,” added Brooks, who actually just needed some time alone in the bathroom.
The coworkers who heard her withhold the gas definitely empathized with Brooks’ cover-up.
“It’s a total lose-lose situation,” said coworker Rachel Bentoff. “If you fart, that’s gross. If you hold in a fart and say it’s a fart, that’s gross. If you hold in a fart and say it’s hunger pangs, that’s so sad cause you’re pretending you don’t have to fart when you clearly do.”
“I think the best thing to do is go to the bathroom and just fart it out,” said Mila Gordon, another coworker. “But also, it’s hard to do that fast enough. Wow, this is truly an impossible situation.”
When her coworkers confronted her about the moment, Brooks insisted it was absolutely not a fart.
“Oh my god, that’s so funny you thought I was holding in a fart,” says Brooks. “Trust me, I would definitely tell you guys if it was a fart. But it wasn’t, it totally wasn’t a fart. I don’t really fart that much, to be honest.”
“She was in the bathroom for at least fifteen minutes,” said Bentoff. “The only logical conclusion is that she held in a fart, her body got mad, and she shit for a very long time.”
As Brooks came out of the bathroom and returned to her seat, reports confirmed she looks over at her coworkers and said:
“You guys, someone destroyed the bathroom. It was really bad when I got in there. I did not do that.”