1. Luke Danes
A man that can cook, swing a hammer, and also happens to be extremely attractive? My panties are already off. This show!!
2. Lane Kim
I’m not saying I learned about skanking from her, but I learned about skanking from her. Freaking Gilmore Girls rules.
3. Kirk Gleason*
*Human Kirk, not cat Kirk. Lol!
4. Lorelai Gilmore
I’ve been subtly trying to shape my own mother into Lorelai for years. I really care about this show.
5. Sookie St. James
MELISSA MCCARTHY’S BEST ROLE! I like the show Gilmore Girls.
6. Emily Gilmore
Before you try to convince me that she’s horrible, remember this: she once took off her skirt and climbed out of a window. Sober. That’s a bad bitch right there!
7. Paris Geller
Classic Paris: Putting her dead boyfriend’s two-ton printing press in the middle of her and Rory’s dorm room. I crave this show’s unpredictable moments for my own life!
8. Michel Gerard
I, too, have an undying love for Celine Dion! Sometimes I talk very fast and pretend I live in Connecticut.
9. Paul Anka the Dog
Yeah, a dog made the top 10. Are you fluffy and adorable? Didn’t think so – shut the fuck up. I really love Gilmore Girls!
10. Jess Mariano
Dean who? Lol. This show!
11. Mrs. Kim
Mama Kim may be a little crazy, but she’s also entertaining, loving, and really, really into “Tofurky.” This show taught me what “Tofurky” is.
12. Jackson Belleville
“Sleeping with the zucchini” could also be a euphemism for penis sex! I learned a whole lot about penis sex from this show.
13. Babette
I’m still slightly obsessed with the weird Spider-Man thing she does with her hand for emphasis. I still think a lot about this show!
14. The Town Troubadour (Grant)
Nothing is more Stars Hollow than the fact that they have a guy who just hangs out in town and (coincidentally) plays the perfect mood music for that episode’s drama. I wish real life were more like Gilmore Girls.
15. TJ
I hear “Shelves: by AJ” is really taking off! Remember this funny joke from Gilmore Girls?
16. Jason “Digger” Stiles
A guy that doesn’t want to sleep in the same bed as me is literally my dream!
17. Dave Rygalski
He left us for “college in California” which I guess is code for “starring on The O.C.” I really care about this show.
18. Zack Van Gerbig
Jump kick off the amp and slash your windmills into my heart, baby! Or some other creative rock metaphor! This show made me curious about my body.
19. Doyle McMaster
Honestly, I thought Rory’s sparkly coat was a good look for him since it made him look taller. You all know Gilmore Girls, right?
20. Tom the Contractor
Sarcastic and sassy, no one can hold a candle to Tom. Just don’t tell TJ that! The show Gilmore Girls means a lot to me.
21. Gypsy
Oh yeah, she was the Spanish teacher on That’s So Raven, all right. I know a lot about this show and its characters and the actors who portrayed those characters.
22. Madeline Lynn
Madeline is the brainless friend we all have who somehow manages to be more charming than annoying. This show taught me about conflict.
23. Miss Patty
Rivals only Samantha Jones in inappropriately timed sexual comments and throaty voice! The show Gilmore Girls ran on the CW for seven seasons.
24. Paw Paw & Chin Chin
Are you really surprised to see more dogs in my top 25? If you didn’t tear up when Zack played “My Heart Will Go On” during Chin Chin’s funeral then you are a MONSTER.
25. Logan Huntzberger
If the offer’s still good, I’d like to take Rory’s place in that San Francisco house with the backyard avocado tree and the undying love and comfort please. I learned that avocados grew on trees from this show.
26. Taylor Doose
Is Taylor your father, or is your father your father? Does that make Taylor your tailor? Mysteries of life. This show taught me about mysteries.
27. Louise Grant
Her ace performance in the Disney channel original movie Double Teamed is what really solidified her place in the top 30. I know lots of trivia about the show Gilmore Girls.
28. Kyon (Mrs. Kim’s Foreign Exchange Student)
She’s right, you know—French fries ARE the devil’s starchy fingers, and combined with a Wendy’s frosty they are absolutely orgasmic! This show taught me the word “orgasmic.”
29. Tristan DuGrey
Similarly to Dave Rygalski, the beautiful Tristan left Chilton to “attend military school in North Carolina” (cough cough One Tree Hill). Don’t you love Gilmore Girls?
30. Kyle the Hook Handed Vet
Poor Kyle, fighting international skirmishes on two or three dangerous fronts and losing his hand in the process. Remember?
31. Brad Langford
“Winningly naïve.” Amen! I like this show.
32. Caesar
Don’t scoff at the idea of cold bananas; they’re fucking delicious. This reference is something you will understand if you have an encyclopedic knowledge of everyone’s favorite show, Gilmore Girls.
33. Miss Celine, Emily’s Fashion Consultant
Never fucking underestimate the power of a good shirt. Never. This show taught me about professional style.
34. Dean Forester
I’m 100% Team Jess, but Dean does get points for that classic ‘90s floppy boy bangs haircut he sported for the first few seasons. I like every season of the show Gilmore Girls.
35. Christopher Hayden
Except for all the times that he was childish and terrible, Chris was pretty awesome. ‘S wonderful, ‘s marvelous! I really, REALLY love Gilmore Girls.
36. Rory Gilmore
I DON’T CARE that she’s one of the two protagonists, she is snobby and whiny and boring and I hated her haircut in season 4. She also set impossible standards for aspiring Ivy League lady journalists; like sure, drop out of Yale because your boyfriend’s dad was mean to you, yeah okay, and then just come back and become the editor of the school paper and immediately land a paid writing job after graduation, TOTALLY REASONABLE. Fuck you Rory Gilmore. (I have a nosebleed.)
37. Al from Al’s Pancake World
Never seen but frequently mentioned, I’m picturing Al as a quirky older man who wears a lot of holiday-themed bow ties. Ideally played by Christophers Walken or Lloyd. I was 10 when this show premiered.
38. Beau Belleville (Jackson’s brother)
Played by Nick Offerman. That’s all you need to know. I know lots more, though!
39. Reverend Skinner
Always exciting to see a member of the clergy supporting the destruction of church property in the middle of the night! This show taught me about boundaries.
40. Colin McCrae
Though all of Logan’s friends are assholes, Colin at least seems to be the most responsible. But also the least hot…I’m sensing a correlation between attractiveness and common sense here. Gilmore Girls was a television show on the WB (later the CW).
41. Brian Fuller
I wouldn’t be surprised at all to learn that his cousin inherited that Zorro costume from him. I dressed as Lorelai for Halloween several years in a row.
42. Asher Fleming
I’m no Anna Nicole Smith, but I get it. I get it, Paris. Sexy literary British man. I get it. I get this show, too!
43. Glenn Babble
Glenn will either go on to become the editor of The New York Times or a guy who blogs about conspiracy theories online. Potentially both! This show started in 2000, which was before 9/11.
44. April Nardini
Dream with me for a moment, and imagine a world where she didn’t drive an obnoxious frizzy wedge between Luke and Lorelai. In this magical world, April is kinda funny and cute as a stand-alone character, right? Okay maybe not but there are just sooo many people I hate more than her. I have strong feelings about the major and minor characters on this show.
45. Tana Schrick
Thankfully Doogie’s role on the show was short-lived… fuckin’ home-schooled freak! I like Gilmore Girls.
46. Joe the Pizza Guy
Jewish and likes pizza. K. (Lol!)
47. Marty the Naked Guy
Marty creeped me the fuck out from day one. He was majorly intense with his affection for Rory but she STILL DIDN’T GET IT. This show taught me about mismatched affections.
48. Max Medina
Maaaaaaax ah I love Max, what a sexy English teacher man! I was just coming into my sexual identity when this show was on the air.
49. Bill, Raj, Joanie etc. from the Paper
Lumping them together because I don’t care about any of them enough to write individual blurbs. The show Gilmore Girls was created by Amy Sherman-Palladino.
50. Lucy,Marty’s Girlfriend
Don’t trust the B—- with the meth addiction, Rory. I fear for Rory.
51. Richard’s Cousin Marilyn
HAHA the joke is that she is also his mother! Watch the show, dumbass.
52. TJ’s Brother
Amazing casting–they managed to find an actor who looks just like TJ by casting his actual brother! Fucking wow.
53. Rabbi Barans
Like the Reverend except fatter and Jewisher. This was the first Jew I ever saw!
54. Robert Grimaldi
Is his last name actually Grimaldi? Who fuckin’ cares, he’s sexy as hell. You don’t need to know someone’s last name to have sexytimes, which is something I learned from watching this show at an impressionable age.
55. Andrew from the Bookstore
What kind of man hates Liam Neeson? Liam Neeson loves Gilmore Girls.
56. Princeton Jamie
After this role, he probably went on to work as a prince at Disneyland or something else generic male actors do. Someone on a GG message board taught me what IMDB was but I still haven’t used it.
57. Honor Huntzberger
Rich and blonde. K.
58. Morey Dell
We get it, Morey, you’re a musician. Give the sunglasses and fedora a rest. (I used to dress like Rory.)
59. Lindsay Lister
Even though Lindsay is the Beyoncé to Rory’s Ali Larter, she’s still not very likeable. She’s no Beyoncé. Destiny’s Child was also something I deeply cared about when I was 12.
60. Liz Danes
THAT VOICE UGH! I like this show more than most shows.
61. Janet Billing
She was a character on Gilmore Girls which is a show that I like.
62. William the Laundry Room Boy
Does this asshole have any friends? Does anybody? Do I?
63. Olivia the Art Student
Art majors are automatically worthless.
64. Sophie Bloom
Played by Carole King, who I still haven’t forgiven for that annoying-ass theme song that I’m still emotionally attached to.
65. Lulu
+1 for liking Kirk, -100000 for everything else about her. I have opinions about the show Gilmore Girls.
66. Gil
“Dude rocks, but dude’s too old.” Remember? I do.
67. Alex Lesman
You made Lorelai go fishing? What even are you, dude?
68. Finn
I figure if I rank Finn fairly low then his widespread appeal will go down and I can keep him all for myself. I love this show!!
69. DAR Ladies
Bitches, but mildly entertaining and well-dressed bitches. Oh, and for the record, I would bump uglies with Calvin Coolidge. #GilmoreGirls
70. Mia
I just don’t get the appeal. She’s like an older, humorless Ellen DeGeneres knockoff. I have opinions about the show Gilmore Girls.
71. Richard Gilmore
Such a cunt. Rude to Dean, Jason, Luke, oh and lemme think, everyone else. RORY WANTED TO GO TO HARVARD. DEAL WITH IT, OLD MAN. Ugh, this show is so dramatic sometimes!
72. Lane’s Aunt June
This chick makes Anna Wintour look warm! Also, this episode debuted the week my dog had puppies!
73. Josh, Honor’s fiancé/husband
Who? Unclear if Josh has any lines besides *sits and tries to blend into the wall* Some characters are less interesting than others because it is a show with lots of characters and I can name them all!
74. Crazy Carrie
Her boobs scare me! She is so sexually aggressive and although it’s not aimed at me, it makes me want to hide under the covers and cross my legs. I was a preteen when this show was on the air!
75. Rune, Jackson’s Cousin
Rude motherfucker, but at least slightly entertaining. Really in primo condition in the “Bracebridge Dinner” episode. Such a good one!
76. Rachel, Luke’s Rachel
Comes to town, steals Luke’s heart again, leaves town on about 10 minutes notice. Get out and stay out! I like this show.
77. Juliet and Rosemary, Apparently Logan’s Only Female Friends
Besides the fact that one of these girls was played by Riki Lindhome, they’re basically interchangeable. Meh. These episodes were super lame!
78. Drella the Harpist
Alex Borstein (married to Jackson IRL) was almost cast as Sookie and then who knows where Melissa McCarthy would be?! I get so scared sometimes just thinking about it!
79. Lindsay’s Mom
I am 100% positive that she regularly masturbated thinking about Dean. A little too possessive of him, know what I’m sayin’? Cuz she’s his mom! Yuck. This show, you guys!
80. Bruce the Midwife
Because of Bruce I’ve had many a sleepless night thinking about the disgusting art of midwifery. I learned the word “midwife” from this show!
81. Henry Cho
“Oh hey Lane I like you mainly because you’re Korean and so am I oh wait I don’t like you anymore because your Korean mother is crazy and I hate Koreans.” You will never do better, buddy. I like the show Gilmore Girls.
82. Sherry Tinsdale
I hate Sherry for leaving her infant daughter WITH THE NANNY while she ran off to France, but I also like her because her pregnancy resulted in getting rid of Christopher for a few seasons leaving room for Luke to move in. #TeamLuke
83. Jimmy Mariano
Originally, Jimmy was much lower on my list for walking out on Jess and his mom, but then I remembered that Liz is a headache and I probably would’ve left, too. I feel emotionally connected to this show and its characters.
84. Terrance, Paris’s Life Coach
Definitely a member of one of those weird cults that makes everyone shave their heads and kiss each other a lot.
85. Tobin
Tobin may or may not be the devil. I like Gilmore Girls.
86. Gigi
Dumb name, dumb conception, dumb mom, dumb coloring on Lorelei’s floors. Will probably grow up to be a Kappa and marry the heir to the BP empire. This show taught me about babies and how dumb they are.
87. Summer, Tristan’s Girlfriend/Shane, Jess’ Girlfriend
Combined the private school bitchskank with the townie bitchskank because bitchskanks across the world need to stick together also most likely no one is reading this anymore. But I’m still writing it, so here we are.
88. Bootsy the Newsstand Owner
The only strong memory I have of him is getting into an argument with Luke at a town meeting once. And the enemy of my friend is my enemy, thus his low rank. This was my screen name on the GG message board I used to moderate.
89. Nicole Leahy
Cheated on Luke and still not the worst woman he ever dated. UGH! That beautiful man is too kind to see the ugly in people.
90. Clara Forester
UGH this bitch. Cried the first time she met Rory (uh why, cause she’s so threatening?) Then was weird and bluntly rude to Jess, and later badmouthed Lindsay. She seems to be too old to not have much of a filter (maybe Asperger’s?). “It’s a Wal-Mart” – what an idiot. I like the show Gilmore Girls and can recite many insignificant quotes from it upon command.
91. Fran Weston
Wouldn’t sell a RUN DOWN OLD INN that she WASN’T EVEN USING to two WONDERFUL PEOPLE who wanted it more than ANYTHING. This show is everything to me.
92. Young Chiu,Lane’s Fake Boyfriend
Fake boyfriend real fell for Lane (because obviously, she’s rad), and wouldn’t break it off with her meaning she couldn’t date Dave AND NO ONE HURTS BEAUTIFUL DAVE LIKE THAT OKAY. What day is it?
93. Shira Huntzberger
Mean to Rory, but merely because she’s a vapid gold digger, and also don’t forget that Rory sucks. She’s most likely just jealous of Rory’s bright future and size 4 dress size. Rory is a fictional character but she feels so real to me.
94. Mitchum Huntzberger
You know that episode where Rory reads what he said about her in the paper and gets really frustrated and tries to get it rescinded? That’s how I feel about Mitchum; I want to rescind my memories of him. But never my memories of the Gilmore Girls.
95. Gran Lorelai Gilmore “Trix”
I know Emily wasn’t everyone’s favorite, but get OVER it, lady. Richard and Emily have been married for 40 years! The best part about Gran was the Hello Kitty bracelet she will be wearing for eternity, thanks to Lorelai. This show taught me about death.
96. Desdemona and Cletus, Dragonfly Inn’s Horses
I do not like horses anymore. I wish I could warn eight-year-old me about these terrible beasts before she signs up for horse camp. I’m sorry, eight-year-old me.
97. Anna Nardini
LUKE you beautiful man, stop sexing bitches! This show taught me about bitches.
98. Floyd Stiles
Do you think he has any smile lines? I like Gilmore Girls.
99. Francie Jarvis
Likes: Short skirts, getting drunk on power, the Puffs, having no soul (the ginger thing is true I guess); dislikes: everything. I hope you get hit by a bus, Francie.
100. Headmaster Charleston
I can think of precisely 0 good things that this man ever did or said. All I wanna do is go mess up his office while Joan Jett plays loudly in the background. This show!!!
In conclusion, I really like the show Gilmore Girls and its characters.
