In a move that can only mean she thinks she’s some kind of fucking Queen of Versailles, Tiffany has purchased a headboard for what was already a perfectly functional bed.
It was bad enough when Tiffany upgraded from a floor mattress last year, flaunting her sturdy, storage-providing bed frame in your face. Now Tiffany is taking selfies against a tufted headboard from Pottery Barn, like she’s a member of the landed gentry to be waited on fucking hand and foot.
What else is Tiffany (or should we say Marie Fucking Antoinette) going to buy with her apparent fortune? A cake stand? A gilded birdcage? We’re on the edge of our fucking seats. This is unbelievable.
Maybe she’ll move on from a perfectly good quilt to some kind of duvet and, we don’t know, a duvet cover, like some ailing baroness confined to her fancy bed for the rest of her life. We can only imagine what’s going on inside Tiffany’s preciously valuable little head. It’s fucking crazy.
Tiffany says she bought the headboard so that it would be easier to sit up while reading in bed, which is totally something that a member of the nobility would say. She’s probably pouring over the Duke’s will by candlelight or considering the marriage proposal of an earl. Either way, she can’t prop a pillow against her apartment wall like us peasants cause this bitch is apparently just too fancy for that.
We texted Tiff to ask what the fuck was up and she just said, “Whaaat?” like she doesn’t have time for us. She’s probably on top of a horse right now.
