Keisha Loomis, 32, has a very kinky sex fantasy: When she’s alone at night, she gets in the mood by imagining her boyfriend, Matt, pays off all of her student debt and then dies.
“It’ll be like the ultimate roleplaying,” Keisha said. “He’ll be my white knight riding in on his noble steed to save the damsel in distress, and then he’ll be dead, which just ties up everything in a neat little package.”
Keisha also stressed that she really likes her boyfriend of six months, but she doesn’t necessarily see their relationship going anywhere serious.
“I definitely don’t see us lasting forever,” she says. “But when it comes to my student loans, there’s no end in sight. It would just be so sexy if Matt paid for them and then, you know, disappeared. Like he was dead? He doesn’t have to literally be dead.”
For a long time, Keisha kept her fantasy a secret. But she’s finally come clean in an effort to lead a more sex-positive life and to de-stigmatize unusual fetishes.
“There’s such a stigma around female sexuality,” she says. “Women aren’t taught how to communicate their sexual wants and needs. I decided it was time to be honest and admit to my partner that I want him to give me money. And then I want him to die.”
When reached for comment, Matt asked if Keisha was mad at him.
“Oh my gosh, no!” Keisha responded. “Matt’s awesome. I just feel ready to take the next step in our relationship. You know, the step where he pays off all my student loans and then dies so I can be financially independent. Independence is so sexy.”
Despite skepticism from some of her friends, Keisha insists that getting on the same page regarding fiscal solvency is never “weird and fucked up.” In fact, it’s the foundation of any healthy relationship.
“Nothing turns me on more than a man who gets that I need money,” she says. “Look, I shouldn’t have been an English major, okay? But the damage is done, and here we are.”
When asked if Matt could pay off her debt and, perhaps, not die, Keisha thoughtfully paused.
“Hmm, that didn’t even occur to me,” she admits. “I mean, maybe, but then it’d become a whole thing between us where he paid off my debt, and I feel guilty, so it’d probably be better if he just died.”