This Woman Baked an Egg in an Avocado. What Happened Next Will Blow Your Tits Clean Off.

I’m just a typical girl trying to find my way in this crazy world. I’m nothing special, and I’ve certainly got my troubles: I’m poor, I’m single, my mom is terminally ill, I don’t love my job, I’m not happy, and I don’t have enough health insurance to seek professional help of any kind.

 

So one day, I went on Pinterest and saw a piece of culinary/life advice that literally changed me inside and motherfucking out.

 

I baked an egg inside of an avocado and my world fucking exploded.

 

Ladies, I’m not kidding around here. This kitchen trick is honestly everything you’ve ever wanted. I won’t bore you with the details, but here’s a brief sampling of the deluge of miracles I experienced the literal second after I cracked an egg inside the yonic hole within an avocado and placed it in the oven:

 

 

  • My chronic depression stemming from a traumatic childhood experience that was never resolved due to a faulty legal team? DONEZOOOO.
  • I’m now happily married to Chris Pratt!!!
  • My mother’s terminal breast cancer is cured and Sandra Bullock is slated to play her in a biopic about the whole ordeal, even though my mother does not have a face for Hollywood, which is the real miracle and truly a kind gesture on behalf of the movie industry, ‘cause honestly no one’s gonna watch the story of someone heroically surviving cancer if they have sunspots and laugh-lines.
  • Also we don’t have any medical billz! (thanks Chris Pratt!)

 

 

  • I barely even feel my NuvaRing when I masturbate.
  • ** BUT I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO MASTURBATE ‘CAUSE DID I MENTION I’M HAPPILY MARRIED TO CHRIS PRATT.
  • No one follows me when I walk home alone at night!
  • When I use a ketchup bottle, I never have to deal with that watery stuff that sometimes come out!!
  • I have adopted the same morning routine as Christian Bale in American Psycho and I am fucking luvving it.
  • On that note, when I murder people, I get away with it!!!!!!!
  • A Nigerian Prince sent me a charming email and it wasn’t a scam.
  • I got a toy pug.
  • That popcorn kernel stuck in my molars fiiiiinally went away.

 

Once again, food hackers, I can’t recommend this simple trick enough. Bake an egg inside an avocado and buckle the hell up, cuz your tits are about to get blown clean off!

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