Sex in a bed can get dull quickly, but one way to spice up your sex life is to try it in some unconventional, exciting places. Making love in an exotic locale is the best way to make your sort of okay but not great sex just about the same, but with more bugs. But hey, it’s better than nothing! Here are four adventurous places to have severely mediocre sex!
The Top of a Mountain
If you’re looking for a memorable sexual experience, hike to the top of a mountain and do the dirty up there! You’ll be hot and sweaty, which is a serious turn on! Of course, by the time the sex is actually happening you’ll remember that his oral sex skills don’t get any better at 13,000 feet. Also, leaning again that rock probably really hurts! So enjoy the vista, and remember that while you can try adventure, this sex will never be more than just okay!
You’ve seen it in the movies and you’ve imagined it often: elevator sex! Next time you’re riding the ‘vator with your lover, pull the emergency brake, tear your clothes off, and bone it out. Sometimes there’s a camera in the elevator, but who cares? At least someone watching your sex will finally understand that despite your attempts to have a good romp, your limbs don’t quite fit in this suspended cube. Good luck trying to get him hard between floors 1 and 6!
A Public Restroom
Despite being the grimiest of the options, having dirty, sexy sex in a public bathroom can be extremely hot. If you’re at a bar, have your partner head to the bathroom and meet them there in five. As they throw you against a graffiti-ed stall door, you may feel excited that you’re finally getting that animal sex you’ve been craving. But don’t get too excited, because once it starts you’ll realize fucking against a wall is bad and there is absolutely no physical way for you to come. Honestly, there is no better place to remind yourself why beds are good!
On a Canoe
If none of the other options work, which they won’t because it is physically impossible to have better-than-just-okay sex anywhere but a bed, try it on a canoe. You’ll inevitably tip over and fall into the water, which will be more fun than the sex was. Cool!
Try getting it on in one of these adventurous places, even though you’ll inevitably have pretty lame sex no matter where you go. Interesting how the best sex probably can only happen in a soft bed where you have tons of room and time. Wow, sex is easy if you’re not severely uncomfortable!