A quality vibrator is a worthy investment that is sure to boost your orgasm game whether you’re going solo or using it with a partner. Owning a vibrator is a great way to get to know your body, and also a great way to ensure irrevocable shame when it’s discovered by a family member after your untimely death. But with so many personal toys on the market, starting your search can feel overwhelming! We made it easy; here are the best vibrators for your parents to find after you die unexpectedly in your sleep!
G-Spot Vibrator ($119)
This flexible vibrator, designed to stimulate your g-spot, is completely bendable so you can shape it to fit your body! This vibe is guaranteed to take your climax to new heights. And when you’re done you can place it in your bedside table where your grieving parents will discover it, realizing their deceased daughter was a sex fiend with a hundred-dollar vibrator habit. RIP!
The Deluxe Rabbit ($85)
The rabbit vibrator provides the option of simultaneous clitoral and vaginal stimulation so you can tailor your experience to your own needs. Also, its cute, bright color will draw your mother and father’s attention when they find it next to your dead body after you pass away with no prior indications of compromised health. This deluxe vibrator ensures that your bereaved parents will remember you for one thing: masturbation!
The Womanizer ($164)
This hands-free vibe is recommended for couples, but works just as well for solo-play! If you’re looking for a non-penetrative option, the Womanizer might be right for you. It’s unique design separates it from your standard phallic vibrator. In fact, its look is so different that at first glance your parents will say “What’s this? Our late daughter’s childhood tamagotchi?” and then once it starts vibrating furiously they’ll say, “Oh. Oh, my. Okay.” Sorry mom and dad, this girl was all about concentrated clitoral stimulation!
So try out any of these fantastic vibrators to switch-up and enhance the way you masturbate, then inevitably taint your legacy when you die unexpectedly and your surviving parents find it. Be sure to wash after every use!