Being a knockout is not always a bag of roses. Sure, everyone thinks they know what it’s like to be attractive, but until you are ridiculously, shockingly hot, you have no idea what it feels like to bear this burden. Here’s ten things us hot people know about the challenges that come from being way hotter than just regular hot:
The Breast Burden
My luscious breasts are a real burden when I’m walking around, and my tiny frame can barely support them Whether they’re trying to slip out of my revealing shirt, straining my delicate back muscles, or distracting men from their jobs, my perfect pair is a painful cross to bear.
The Thigh Gap Between Me and Other Women
Whether it’s at the gym or a club, every woman I know seems to be complaining about road rash and the difficulties of having thighs that rub together. I have almost nothing to talk about with these women. I never really had thighs, even as a baby. It’s like I’m not even human to them!
Sure, they look great sans makeup, but these things make it difficult to see. Because my peripheral vision is so severely limited, a top modeling agent could be scouting me across the room, and I wouldn’t even know it. You can’t imagine what that feels like.
Lack of Period Problems
Some women I know suffer from heavy periods and they get to talk about it endlessly, using it as an excuse not to do things. If I claimed to feel bloated, people would take one look at me and laugh. It’s clear my small abdomen could support only the lightest of flows, and yes, you guessed it – I only get my period four times a year.
I bet when you sit down your bottom just sinks into things, right? You have no idea how painful it is to sit on a set of car keys with an ass this tight.
Everyone wants a set of beautiful, soulfully deep eyes, right? Wrong! Do you know how many men get sucked in, gazing into my eyes for minutes on end? Do you think I want to have permanent tractor beams on my face?!
Delicate Wrists and Fingers
My bones are so delicate and fine. People always want to buy beautiful things to adorn them – rings, watches, and other jewelry. But guess what – my frame wasn’t designed to support all this weight. Imagine a designer offering to give you a diamond-encrusted chunky bracelet if you’ll agree to wear it to an all-day charity event and you’re just not sure you’ll make it through! You can’t, can you?!
So there it is – the difficulties of having unearthly beauty. This is my hardship, but unfortunately for people like you, you’ll probably never understand.