In a new study published by the American Psychological Association, researchers have discovered that despite popular belief, rearranging your bedroom will change absolutely nothing and that despite your efforts, you will be depressed for the rest of your sad little life.
Analysts found various reasons why these individuals ranging from 20-30 years old wanted a redesign. Researchers then took psychological surveys of the same individuals after their redecoration took place, which allowed them to conclude that no amount of pushing your bed to the other side of the room will result in you feeling less depressed.
Lead analyst Terri Saunders explains the team’s findings.
“Other studies have also shown that people are hoping that moving their bed to the other side of the wall will improve their quality of life,” says Saunders. “Sorry, but putting your desk near the window won’t make you any happier and no matter what you do. In fact, you may never feel joy again.”
The data speaks for itself, proving that you were dumb to think moving furniture would change anything about how bad your life is.
“It makes sense that taking control of the only space in the world that is really yours sounds like a positive change,” says Saunders. “Even if you feel temporary relief, this data proves your life is going to suck until you either make a real life change or just wither away and die surrounded by no one.”
Yet some people are still hopeful that small changes to their living spaces will manifest in better moods.
“After moving my couch like seven times this month, I realized my furniture isn’t the problem – I am the problem,” says Saunders. “I didn’t really know what to do with that so I just kind of got drunk and rotated my loveseat.”
Despite the groundbreaking results compiled in this study, Saunders doesn’t plan to rest on her laurels.
“I am working on a new study that will shake the medical community,” says Saunders. “Let’s just say buying a candle might actually make you more sad.”